Short stories

Not Ready

This video was something I felt I needed to do at the time, because I was really going through. I was with this man that I thought was going to end up being my husband. But his a** had other thoughts. See his problem was he believed I was going to be that girlfriend that was not going to be capable of thinking for herself.

I know now that what he got was not what he wanted. He wanted someone that was going to depend on him 100%. Let me tell you something; that is not me, never has been me & never will be me. If I want something I go and get it for myself. I’m not going to look to anyone else to take are of me. I guess that’s just the way I’m made.

But let me tell you… I thought this was a bad thing at first, because I always heard “A real man wants to be needed and a woman shouldn’t be too independent.” I later found out that only applies to man who’s not secure in himself.

I mean really, what’s wrong with a woman wanting to secure a bag for herself? Too many times woman have depending on their men to take care of them and have been left in the end to fend for themselves. I’m not saying every man is like this, but there’s a good amount of them who are.

Yeah, but I really just wanted to bring this video to your attention. Please excuse the long pauses. Not quite a YouTuber. Just figured I would speak from the hurt and let you all know some of what I’ve experienced.

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Experiences

Boundaries?

Good morning!!!!

Hope you’re having fun. Remember everyday is a new opportunity to have a better one.

 

Boundaries Self Love Necklace Set | Bryan AnthonysWhat I wanted to get into with you today is; “Boundaries or the lack there of”. What are healthy boundaries? How do you know when you don’t have any boundaries? What happens as a result of not having them?

 

When you have boundaries you have the strength to say “No” without feeling you’re doing the other person a disservice. Also you have less stress, and as a result of being less stressed you typically are less angry. Which are all great things. The other great things are  you have the tendency to take better care of yourself and you’re very self aware. These are things that can help you live your life more affectively.

Maintaining Healthy Boundaries - KWSO 91.9As for what healthy boundaries look like; taking responsibility for your actions and emotions. Non-healthy boundaries are when you blame someone else for what was not in their control. Also when you take responsibility for something you had nothing to do with. Living this way isn’t going to be easy in the least, that’s why you have to develop boundaries.

Without them we absorb other peoples’ energy without intending too. This in turn cases us to stress. As a result of stressing we also agree to things we really want to disagree with, feel responsible for other peoples actions and continue to be mistreated or abused.

If you haven’t noticed, boundaries are a very important when it comes to selfcare. They have everything to do with the way we perceive ourselves and those around us. 

Something else that may happen because of your lack of boundaries is; getting taken advantage of. Some of you may not realize this but this happens a lot. Let’s say, you have someone who has no boundaries and will do anything for the next person. Many times people do this because they feel they haven’t done enough unless they’ve given their all. When in reality someone who has boundaries will not go above and beyond because they understand and know how much they’re whiling to give.

Where as people who lack boundaries get angry with people who have healthy boundaries because they’re expecting that same level of selflessness. People with boundaries understand their self worth and are less likely to be taken advantage of because of their understanding of their value. Tattooforaweek.com on Twitter: "When you're trying to love people ...

Question of the Day:

“How has not having boundaries effected your life?”

 

 

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As Always

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Feelings · Venting

Selfless Givers

What is it with people like me?! I don’t get it!! I swear I try to be a giving person but this s*** has got to change. I’ve been taken advantage of by almost everyone that I’ve ever known! I’m just pissed!!! There are no other words to say but that. I just wish people thought the way I did.

I’m trying to change that little aspect about myself because it seems it will never be reciprocated. I’m just tired of being tired. I’m tired of thinking someone will do for me willingly with out me asking them to do so. I don’t want to blame anyone but myself, because I let this happen time and time again. I feel it’ll be better for me just to be on my own because I’m tired of doing without while the next person is racking up because of my kindness. See, I’m the type of person that will do for the next person because I see it needs to be done. Most likely I’ll help or do something for someone and not think twice about it, until it’s too late. By then they have gotten all they can get and I’m left with nothing. I’m trying to stay leveled headed and not get upset, but it’s not working out to well for me right now. Every time I think of how much I’ve given and got little to nothing in return it pisses me off all over again!

I would love to know if you’ve every gone through something like this. If you have, what did you do to correct the situation?

Photos Provided By: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/54465476723451991/?lp=true, https://www.pinterest.com/pin/27866091422017884/?lp=true, https://me.me/i/im-tired-of-getting-lied-to-tired-of-being-used-389302