empowering · Feelings

Emotional Stagnation

Emotional Stagnation- Is when a person, people, or situation causes you to feel like you’re emotionally bound to remain the same.

F.Y.I: That definition is completely made up. But if this were or is a real combination of words, this would be my definition for it.

Have you ever had times when you felt like emotionally you were stuck doing the same thing because it was what others expected of you?

You realize you don’t have the freedom you crave, but you stay because it’s still better than what you have known all your life. If you’re not clear on what I mean, let me give you some examples:

Being with him is better than living with my mom and step dad. At least he takes care of me. Sure he may knock me around sometime. But I don’t have to worry about someone coming in my room in the middle of the night fondling me.

Or

He’s a great provider. So what if he cheats. At least I don’t have to worry about where I’m going to lay my head at night.

These are just a few examples of the things we reduce ourselves down to, because we are so use to being treated as less than. That we start to think that is the type of treatment we deserve. But you have to know what ever you take at the beginning, is what you’re going to have to continue to take as long as you have any kind of relationship with them; including work relationships.

You have to teach people how to treat you. So if you feel some type of way about anything, you need to make it known, so people can start to respect your opinion.

Q: What happens when you never have an opinion about anything?

A: People start to label you as a pushover and loose respect for you. In the long run this makes working anywhere harder than what it has to, because you’re the person that will do what ever you’re told without any push back.

Now because of this heavier work load, you start to hate work and the people that are in positions that are over you; all because you were too fearful to open your mouth and let them know how you feel about the amount or kind of work you’ve been given. When in reality the only person you can blame is yourself, for not speaking up when you had the chance. I understand some of us don’t speak up because we’re afraid of loosing our job. But keep in mind, if they want to fire you, their going to fire you. Also know; That isn’t the only job on earth. You can get another job. It might not be easy, but it’s possible.

Inconclusion, always do what’s best for you. Even if a situation seems a lot better than your last, you can always place yourself in a better on. Do not stay emotionally stagnate when you know you can do better. Don’t do yourself the disservice of staying in a situation that isn’t serving you, when you know you are capable of more.

The sky is the Limit

Love you all, always.

Photos Provided By: https://www.livingmagazine.net/, https://www.mydomaine.com/emotional-health

Thoughts

Attention!!!! Public Service Workers. Is This You?

I may talk about this constantly, but I believe service workers don’t get treated with the type of respect they deserve, most times. I understand some of them deserve a little of what they put out there but not all of them.

There are so many stories I could tell, when it comes to working in a service position. I think I’m going to be letting a little bit, scratch that a lotta bit out. I have been working in public service for over twenty years. I know how to do service with a  smile pretty well. But there are still people who want to tell you how to do your job. I’m not here for it, at all. For the most part I’ve been very kind, polite, nice and what every other words can be thought of to describe niceness. I’m tired of giving A1 customer service and most people don’t care what they say or do in front of you or to you because you’re there to serve them or so they believe. Truth really be told, initially I’m here for a pay check. Serving you, the public was an after thought. I’m sure there are going to be other people out here saying I should be happy to have a job, but not when you get treated like crap most of the time you work there. Not just by the customers either, there are managers who believe they are high and mighty because of the position their in and like to throw their weight around. Fellow co-works who like to micromanage you because they have nothing else going on in their life. Then you have the customer. I know you shouldn’t carry a lot of emotional baggage with, but that is a treat I have. Most times I feel when other people are going through something. I don’t know how, I just do. Sometime I wish I could turn it off. But I can’t help but really want to know how someone really is. Looking back on this, it looks more like I need to change careers.

Don’t get me wrong I really use to love coming to work, but the constant disrespect starts to chip away at you. I’ve had things happen to me and friends I’ve worked with. I’ve had people through books at me. A co-worker of mine had someone grab her by her collar. She’s a small girl, and this was a big 6’2 man who did this. All because he wanted her to ring him up, and she politely told him she was closed. There are so many things people who work in public service go through on a daily. Those are only two examples, but I definitely  have way more stories to tell. I guess you can say I’m writing this as a therapy to myself and also to let others know: When you see a cashier that’s either being rude or closed off, most times it’s because of the treatment they encountered while at work. I’m not saying to give them a pass for being rude. I’m just letting you know a little of the back round to understand why we operate the way we do.

 

I never realized it, but jobs change you. I’ve always been up beat and positive, but I think I’m changing because I’m getting older and starting to realize people are going to treat you how they want too. Most times regardless of how you treat them. It’s getting really exhausting being kind when you don’t have many others who reciprocate that. But that isn’t something I can stop doing because that is the type of person I am. So I’ll never change that.

 

If you made it to the end, I thank you for reading this long rant. If there’s anything else you would like to see on here, please let me know and I will definitely make it happen.