I hope everyone is having a fantastic Friday! Nothing like having it off! You should have seen me yesterday. Every time I found myself getting sleepy or starting to feel low energy, it spiked once I reminded myself there was no work today!
The other thing is, I had a therapy session yesterday. It didn’t go as well as I would have liked. Mainly because I haven’t been consistent in my healing. Truth be told I’ve slacked off and reverted back to old ways. Mainly because it’s comfortable and it’s the way I’ve been for years. I understand change only happens when you make it happen. For a point of time you have to put conscious effort in to changing behaviors for them to become a habit. I guess this is the faze that I am currently in.
Some of you are probably not concerned with the self development aspect of the blog. But this is something I use to help me hold myself accountable for my actions and growth. The more I think about it and given the way I think, there is no way I should have financial issues. But as I’ve stated before, fear has been a really huge debilitator for me. So even though I may be a hell of a lot afraid of what on lookers have to say, I am going to doing it anyway. Just throw it out there and see what sticks.
This is something a lot of us suffer from. Mainly because we have fallen down way more than we have gotten up and some where along the road we’ve decided it isn’t worth the risk. Truth is, it’s always worth the risks when it involves bettering the quality of your life. What is slowly sinking in ( and I mean slowly, like molasses) is that even though you have thoughts and you may even have people around you telling you that what you want to do will not work or it is close to impossible to make happen; you have to continue to pursue it. The gift was given to you and you have to learn to step out in faith and take the chance to find out what will happen.
Last thing, even though you may respect their opinion, you have to keep in mind they aren’t God. Therefore they have no idea what will happen once you start trusting yourself and walking in your purpose.
Hope you’re having fun. Remember everyday is a new opportunity to have a better one.
What I wanted to get into with you today is; “Boundaries or the lack there of”. What are healthy boundaries? How do you know when you don’t have any boundaries? What happens as a result of not having them?
When you have boundaries you have the strength to say “No” without feeling you’re doing the other person a disservice. Also you have less stress, and as a result of being less stressed you typically are less angry. Which are all great things. The other great things are you have the tendency to take better care of yourself and you’re very self aware. These are things that can help you live your life more affectively.
As for what healthy boundaries look like; taking responsibility for your actions and emotions. Non-healthy boundaries are when you blame someone else for what was not in their control. Also when you take responsibility for something you had nothing to do with. Living this way isn’t going to be easy in the least, that’s why you have to develop boundaries.
Without them we absorb other peoples’ energy without intending too. This in turn cases us to stress. As a result of stressing we also agree to things we really want to disagree with, feel responsible for other peoples actions and continue to be mistreated or abused.
If you haven’t noticed, boundaries are a very important when it comes to selfcare. They have everything to do with the way we perceive ourselves and those around us.
Something else that may happen because of your lack of boundaries is; getting taken advantage of. Some of you may not realize this but this happens a lot. Let’s say, you have someone who has no boundaries and will do anything for the next person. Many times people do this because they feel they haven’t done enough unless they’ve given their all. When in reality someone who has boundaries will not go above and beyond because they understand and know how much they’re whiling to give.
Where as people who lack boundaries get angry with people who have healthy boundaries because they’re expecting that same level of selflessness. People with boundaries understand their self worth and are less likely to be taken advantage of because of their understanding of their value.
Question of the Day:
“How has not having boundaries effected your life?”
Hey everyone. Hope you’re having a lovely productive day.
My topic if choice today is social anxiety. I chose this topic because it is something I battle with on a day to day basis. I can’t say that I have been medically diagnosed, but I’m sure that is what this is.
Everyday I dread going outside of my house. Not because I hate going outside, because I love nature. I’m just not a fan of meeting and speaking to new people. Don’t get me wrong I would love to expand the number of friends I have. I just become very frustrated, flustered and uncomfortable when meeting new people.
I wish socializing came easy to me like breathing, but it doesn’t. My mind is constantly filled with negative thoughts of how my interaction with the next person is going to play out.
It’s not as if I’m asking them to do something. That is definitely not the case. It’s more of wanting them to except and love me for who I am.
I never understood it, but I always have strived for approval of every person that has ever entered my life; from my Mom all the way done to the cashier at the grocery store. I know that no one has a great relationship with everyone they every met. If they do it’s usually because they are not being true to themselves, in most cases.
So at the current moment I’m working on me and taking steps to having a better quality of life.
Who has felt like this?
If you have, it would be nice to know I’m not alone.
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Have you ever gone to sleep, and slept so good you didn’t want to get up?…
Not because the sleep was so good. Even though I’m sure that would be true. More because while you were asleep you had no worries. You didn’t have to think about going to work or what bills needed your attention. It was just you, and your bed.
That was the type of sleep I had just before waking. Then as soon as I woke up all those negative feelings came rushing back. I’m sure there’s going to be a silver lining coming from all of this negativity I’m experiencing. I just wish it would come already. I’m not going to bore you with the details that are my life. But I feel like I’m close to my lowest point.
I don’t want to make this one of those depressing blogs. I know….
I don’t want it to seem like I don’t have anything to be grateful for because I do. I have plenty to be thankful for. My mother, family, my job(s), my published book, this blog, my intelligence. Really… I could keep going. But the things I’m searching for in life have not made their way to me yet; things like freedom and financial stability.
I’m trying to keep a positive mindset, but sometimes I find myself going down the rabbit hole of negativity.
If you have gone through this stage at any point in life, make sure to share your story. I would love to read them. Who knows, my story maybe simliar to yours.
This post may include affiliate links. For more information, please see Disclaimer.
There are so many ways to relax. So many of us are running from place to place so much, that we forget to take time out for ourselves.
We’re either on our phones, computers, watching television, working, or a countless amount of other things. We are so use to being on the go, that when many of us sit still for even a minute, we’re hit with anxiety of the next thing we need to get done. That is no way to live.
When you start to think of anxiety on a larger scale you start to realize, many of us suffer from anxiety because we don’t get adequate amounts of rest. Also many of us don’t exercise, get large amounts of sunlight, and don’t have a diet high in live foods.
Today I want to give you, just five simple things you could do to lower anxiety and help you learn to be more in the moment; rather than thinking of the next thing on your to do list.
F.Y.I- I also do these things.
Meditate- It’s something I’ve done in the past and I’m working on now. My only problem is, I always seem to fall asleep…. But aside from that, I love meditation; it helps you learn to be more in the moment. Sometimes you need that stillness because it teaches you to slow down and really appreciate life, people, connections, and all the things life has to offer.
Diffusers & Essential Oils- There’s nothing like going to your favorite room in the house, turning on your nature sounds and having your diffuser pump out the scent of your favorite essential oil! A lot of people don’t know this, but this is exactly what I do when I go to bed. Then when I wake up in the morning, I feel completely refreshed and relaxed.
Sunbathe- Sunbathing after working in a building all week, is relaxation in itself. There’s nothing like going out in the sun when you’ve been deprived of it. Besides it being beneficial to your health, it also just feels sooo good!
Take a walk through Nature- On rough days, I like to go and either take a walk or sit in nature. All those worries you had before getting there, just seem to fall away.
If you do decide to do this, make sure to be in the moment. Appreciate all the sounds, visuals, feelings, and smells it has to offer. Once you learn to do that, those worries and that anxiety are just gonna melt away.
Read A Good Book!- Many people don’t realize the power a well written, good book has. Reading can be an escape from all the stress, pain, anxiety, and discomfort you experience in your day to day life. I can say for myself, there have been some books that have helped me through some really hard times.
You want to make sure that the type of book you’re reading is nothing like your life. That’s why I stick to Erotica, Fantasy, and Science Fiction. I tend to go more for erotica. You wouldn’t believe how much reading something so engrossed in sex, could make you feel so relaxed.
Below are links to some of the things I use, when I’m feeling a little stressed out and need to relax.
Bath Bombs– Sometimes that’s all you need; A really great smelling bath bomb, that’ll relax you. Along with candles and dim lighting. Now that’s a vibe!
The great thing about the one’s shown above, they’re organic; that’s what I loved about them. That means, you won’t have to worry about harsh chemicals leeching into you skin while you’re trying to relax.
If you love natural scents and oils, you’ll love this. I have them both; since having them, I don’t see how I’ve been able to live without them. All you have to do is add water, your favorite essential oil or oils , and relaxation is yours.
These two are just the thing you need to mellow out, on days when your boss gets on your nerves or you have a very important event coming up; and anxiety is kicking your butt. The other added benefit of this diffuser is it’s 7 LED colors. You could use it for a night light or what I like to use it for; setting the mood for some grown-up activity (if you know what I mean). You also have total control over which of the seven colors you want to show, and if you want it bright or dim.
You know I couldn’t end this blog, without dropping a book or two. These two books are FIRE!If you want to read something that is full of emotion and sex; these are the ones for you.
There are so many more that I could’ve added. But I’m sure I’ll eventual add my long list of bomb books.
Loyalty: Love, Lies, and Betrayal is a little different from the books above; mainly because I wrote it. Also for the mere fact there is a male lead; and he’s bisexual.
I had so much fun writing this book, that I’m sure you’ll have just as much fun reading it. Fair warning; the revision that’s coming out in a couple of days, is going to be way better then the original. If you’d like to wait till then to get your copy, make sure to mark July 1st on your calendar.
This post may contain affiliate links. For more information please read Disclaimer.
Hey Everybody! I hope all is well.
I’m just sitting here realizing I’m getting older and I still have not made it to the place that I want to be so desperately. I think about all the things I’ve learned over the years and how I haven’t applied much of what I’ve learned to make the type of impact I know I can make. I also think a lot about my health the older I get. All the attempts at being vegan just haven’t stuck. I’m trying to make it stick, because I know that it would be a whole lot better if I would eat what’s good for me rather than eating what tastes good. But the taste always seems to out rule the health facts. Not anymore! I’m tired of lack of energy, depression, lack of focus, health problems, and a list of other things because I love to eat what’s bad for me.
I’m making a promise to you and myself to eat what I know is good for me instead of what’s convenient and what tastes good. I’m going to start eating for the health of my body, instead of eating to satisfy my taste buds. I see that it isn’t getting me any where but living everyday in a fog, barely able to do anything without feeling tired or uninterested. That’s no way to live. I now realize in order to have the type of life I want, my mind has to be clear. Eating healthy foods such as fruits and veggies will insure that my mind is clear, my body energized, and that I am focused on the right things.
Years of eating junk has kept me in a fog that I just can’t shake. Constantly eating fresh food everyday without any processed food is an experience in itself. Have you ever thought of how good you feel when you go through a period of cleansing your body out? Anyone who has gone through this process knows, you feel energized, productive, focused, and most of all amazing! That’s because cleansing the body should be an on going process. I know that it’s hard to lead a life that is filled with nothing but healthy foods that have been grown from the ground, especially if that isn’t something you’re not already use to. But it has always been the answer to getting us to be our best selves’. When you eat better you feel better, and when you feel better you do better. Most of us don’t understand that eating foods high in nutrition does more than keep us in shape, it also keeps our bodies working in tip top shape. Ideas come to you a lot easier, life seems filled with endless possibilities, you can’t wait to wake up and live another day, you find your purpose a lot sooner. The reason for all of these positive benefits when eating fresh foods is, these are the types of food we are suppose to be eating anyway. Like I stated in previous post such as The Health of a Nation, and Know what you’re eating?? most of us are eating things that aren’t even food. They are things that “scientist” have designed to taste good so that we will continue to purchase them. Not only that, most of the things that are put into our “food” have cancer causing agents, because the body doesn’t know how to digest the type of things a typical American eats. That’s why so many of us end up with diseases such as arthritis, osteoporosis, HIV, a number of cancers, STDs and a list of other things.
If the immune system is trying to take care of other issues, how can it defend your body when the actual “Big bad wolf” comes? There’s no way, because it’s already over exerting itself trying to take care of issues. It’s like when you go to work, work 15 hours and your boss asks you to work 10 more. You’ll try to do what you can, but your productivity will be lacking because you haven’t had the time to recuperate from the hours that you’ve already put in. I know a lot of us understand that, but are unable to let go of the bad foods because there is no light in our lives to make us want to do better. I’m sure it’s the food, and stress that’s contributing to making us feel like food is our only escape from the harsh ways of this world.
That’s because we haven’t found other ways to deal with stress and hard times. Food is the first thing you learn to associate with emotion. If you’re happy or sad you want something sweet, stressed salty and so on and so on. But that isn’t the way it’s suppose to be. Everyday we have something to be mad, sad, or happy about. Many times we are more stressed then anything and that is already not good for the body. I know it doesn’t take a lot for me to feel anxious myself, which is another form of stress. Being anxious or stressed isn’t good for the immune system. Having negative emotions stresses the immune system and sends signals to the brain to dull the pain, and most times that means eating away the anxiousness. Not saying eating is the only way to deal with anxiety, stress or anger, but that is the way most of us have learned to block out the signals. We do it so much that we don’t realize we’re doing it. Which is very bad.
All of these reasons and more are the cause of me changing my life style. If you feel the same and want to take this journey with me, leave a comment and let me know how food has changed your life or how you plan to change your life where food is concerned. I also plan own dropping a couple of before and after pictures of me going through this process.
Never forget it’s never to late to make a change to the things you aren’t happy with.
Also if you’re like me and rather learn how to heal your body the natural way, check out these videos of different people healing themselves’ with food. I’ll also leave a couple of book recommendations you can check out when you have time.
I know you should tough it out, but me I worry. I worry so bad that I can’t think straight. My mind turns to mush and I start to feel like it’s the end of the world. I know it isn’t, but that’s the way I feel when stressful things happen in my life. I’m sure God has a plan. I’m just not able to see it yet. I think if I knew what the plan was I would feel a whole lot better about this whole thing. But for right now I guess I’ll have to find a way to keep my worries from killing me.
I’m sure you’re probably like, “Why is she being so dramatic?” I know there’s a lot worse things that could happen. But that’s me, ‘The Worrier’. When life happens there’s nothing you can do but ride the wave and hope you come out on top. My mother says that everything is going to be okay, I really hope so because big things are starting to happen in my life, there’s no turning back now. I have to stop being scared of what the future may hold for me. I’m sure I wasn’t given this life to waste it. I know there is a bigger plan for my life. I just have to learn to walk in faith, and trust God and his plan.
I hope you all had a loving and blessed day.
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