Short stories

Hi Possibilities! I’m here for it!

Good Morning Everyone!

I’m feeling pretty good today. There are so many things that are right with the world as there are so many things that are wrong with it. It all depends on your perception of the things around you. It’s so easy to see the negative when the positive is staring you straight in the face. I really never understood why that is. For that positive thing to stand out it has to be more positive than the negative is negative; if you understand where I’m coming from.

But other than positives and negatives, today is going to be the last day I’m going to be at my current residence. I have until the end of the month to move but I figured I would give the last week of peace to my roommate. For you who don’t know we started off in a relationship then the act he had been putting on the first couple of years became too much for him and that’s when he started showing his true colors. For a long time I thought I was over reacting when I had feelings of isolation and being smothered by his controlling ways. Then I got conformation from those around me that I was not crazy for thinking and feeling the way I did. They say what I so desperately did not want to admit; that he was controlling and not the right fit for me…..

I was going to say, ” I wish they would have said something sooner” but I understand why they did not; because they knew I wasn’t ready to hear it and as a result of that I would have possibly cut them out of my life. Then that act would have had me deeper entangled into his web of misery and control.

For the longest time I thought he was so controlling and judgmental because he wanted the best for me and because of the love he had toward me. Later I realized it was for his own peace of mind. See; he had been cheated on serval times and as a result he became paranoid and believed I would do the same. So going in I didn’t realize his foundation was tainted by all those past experiences he had with other women. See it didn’t matter how transparent I was through out, because in the end he accused me of cheating anyway.

So inconclusion I just want to say to the women and men in relationships you have to constantly prove your loyalty; you might as well quit while you’re ahead. I may be wrong but once a person comes into any kind of relationship not trusting the other person, people or thing they’ll never learn to let down their guard and let you in. It’s going to take a hard lesson to open their eyes. So don’t waste your time or energy repeatedly proving yourself to that person when you’ve done nothing wrong to begin with.

I really hope you’ve enjoyed this blog. As always I enjoy creating them for you. Please do me the favor of sharing this blog in hopes of helping it to grow. 

On Another note: Come try a soap that caters to you and your skins needs! Try LuLu’s Lavish Lathers a soap that not only cleans but provides your skin with the hydration and moisture it needs to remain or for some of you become smooth and silky to the touch.

As Always

 

empowering · Experiences · Feelings · health · Informative · motivational · relationship · self-esteem · Short stories · story telling · Thoughts

Change is gonna come

 

Image result for beautiful couple black

 

“I love you! Don’t you get that?!”

Kayla was once again professing her love to Donovan. Something she did almost everyday. She loved him, but something wouldn’t let him except, let alone believe she could really love him.

Past relationships, broke his heart beyond repair. So now that he had someone who was really there for him and would never dare think of hurting him in anyway; he could not and would not believe it.

“Kayla I love you too. But you’re going to have to give me some time. Being with you has been like a dream. I have to be honest though; you are my dream girl in everyway…. except….”

Kayla had issues herself. She often found herself falling in love with men who were emotionally unavailable or extremely mentally and emotionally abusive. So far Donovan hadn’t seemed like he was either of the two. But they had only been together for 5 months.

Things with him had been so perfect, she was literally waiting for the other shoe to drop. She hoped it never would, but deep down she knew otherwise.

“Except what?!.. Spit it out!”

“Baby you know I love you?”

“Yeah… Just say it!”

“Baby…. you gotta work on your body.”

“What’s wrong with my body?! You always claimed you loved it before.”

True he had always seemed to be in love with every inch of her. But now that he had become comfortable with her and realized her loyalty; that’s when he knew it was a good time to dig his claws in.


1 YEAR LATER…..

“You changed. You aren’t the woman I thought I knew!”

Kayla hadn’t realized it, but she allowed herself to get lost in Donovan’s madness. In the beginning things were ideal. She loved and trusted him; he could do no wrong. She hadn’t realized it, but slowly she had become his chameleon. She learned how to bend and blend into the small pockets of space he allowed her.

By this time she learned all his likes and dislikes. There was very little she could say and do that wouldn’t upset or trigger a negative reaction.

The more time passed, the angrier and more detached he became. Things like random arguments about trivial things were common place. Right a long with Donovan taking multiple shots at Kayla’s self-esteem; through name calling, mostly pertaining to her weight. 

By this time Kayla had grown tired of his disrespectful underhanded antics. She wanted so badly to leave, but feared being a lone and loosing her independence.

How many of you are stuck in a situation that is unbearable? But you stay anyway because of your resistance to change or you believe the discomfort is only temporary and will eventually dissipate.

If that is the case, I’m sorry to tell you; you need to get more uncomfortable or even give up. In order for you to move through that or this dark time in your life to make it to the light.  

No one situation stays the same. 

Change will come….

 

If you let it.

If you enjoyed this post, check out my recently published book

 

 

As Always

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empowering · Experiences · Feelings · motivational · Short stories

Be true to you

I’m sure if you’ve ever read any of my blog posts you would know, I’ve always wanted to be a best selling author. That is also true till this day. I’m sure I haven’t made it so to my inconsistency. But through the grace of God, I’m sure that’s going to change.

You see, I’ve always been someone who loves to love and feel loved. For some reason I didn’t realize you can give and receive love from more than your significant other. I mean I knew that; I believe I just didn’t value love from friends and family as much as I did from a man.

Now that I’ve realized love from friends and family is just as valid and important as love from a spouse, I finally except that I don’t need someone else to feel complete. The only thing I need is to except myself and love me better than anyone else ever could. The sad truth is; you will have someone who will love you. Hell, you may have a whole tribe of people out here who really care about you and love you; but you have to love and understand what you want and don’t want before you decide to enter into any kind of relationship with anyone.

I believe that is a huge reason many women end up in dead end situationships with men they thought loved them and wanted to spend the rest of their life with them. The problem is; most of us aren’t honest with ourselves or honest with the person we’re entering into that relationship with. That’s why we waste so much time, because we’re waiting for them to do what we think the should be doing if they really loved us and wanted to be with us. Rather than telling that man or woman exactly what it is you want to gain from that relationship. So many times we assume that we are on the same page, without actually confirming we are.

I also believe it starts off as friendship there’s a better chance of lasting and turning into much more. Part of the reason I believe that to be true is; getting to know someone with out sex being on the table, helps you to care more about getting to know that person. Rather than only want to sleep with them because they’re attractive. You focus is redirected to, and that is always a good thing. It’s better then thinking what’s between your legs will keep a man or woman. In the end you’ll find that to not be true.

Keep this in mind: Every man and woman are looking for different things in a life long partner. Some may want someone who is charismatic, or loves to travel, or loyal. The point is, if that person doesn’t turn out to have the qualities that you are looking for in a mate, it is completely fine to call it quits. Sometimes you may not want to because the person was such a great person. Keep in mind if you do decide to stay with that person, you’re not going to live up to your full potential.

Inconclusion, if you’re with someone who had you fooled; someone who made you believe they wanted all the same things, then come to find out they want none of the things you want out of life; leave. Many times what happens is we compromise. There’s nothing wrong with compromise, but many times once you start compromising you become the person who is not living their life authentically, because you’re stuck trying to make your man or woman happy.

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As Always

empowering · Experiences · health · Informative · motivational · relationship · self-esteem · Short stories · Thoughts · Venting

Dating a Woman or Man CHILD

Good Morning!!!

Hope everyone is doing well…

There was a question that I needed the answer too. Not really needed the answer, but wanted the answer. And that question is,

“Have you ever or do you currently date someone that you feel more like a father or mother to rather than a spouse?”

If so, why do you think that is? I have a theory.

Theory 1: Many of us end up with this type of person because deep down we want someone who’s gonna need us just a little more than we need them.

Theory 2: We weren’t quite aware that being with this person would be so demanding. So in essence, we got blind sided.

There are plenty of possibilities, but those are two that make the most sense to me.

I didn’t want to exclude the men out, because I’m both sex’s have had to deal with someone who wasn’t taking on the kind of responsibility required for their age or that relationship. If you still aren’t feeling what I’m saying, let me give you an example. Okay…. let’s say you and your partner have been together for a very long time, and the longer you stay together the more demands they require from you. Things like; “Where are you going?” “When are you coming back?” “Don’t eat this or that.””There’s no need for you to leave this house for more than 4 hours.” “If I’m not home write a note letting me know where you are.” Then the death blow; silent treatment.

If you have experienced being with someone like this, it almost feels like you’re the child and they’re the adult. But it’s really more like having a new born baby who is in need of you every moment of every day. At first it can seem cute, but over time, it starts to really work on your nerves and self-esteem. Self-Esteem because, it’s only you and him most times; because to many outings may set him off. Then sometimes this may lead to what I mention earlier; silent treatment. 

I’ve been given silent treatment so often that it’s become a norm. I know it shouldn’t be. But the good thing is, I’ve learned not to internalize it. 

The Silver Lining

I’ve learned I don’t really need anyone else. It would be nice but it isn’t mandatory.

I would love to hear about some of your stories. So make sure to leave a comment, like share and follow

As Always,

empowering · Experiences · Feelings · relationship · Thoughts · Venting

Rough Growth

It’s nice to know you can take care of yourself, sometimes. But when you have had to do it ever since you were young, it gets a little overwhelming and aggravating. I’m sure there are a lot of you out here, who have had to take care of yourself since you were in diapers; sometimes that’s just the way it goes.

Some of us are just thrust into that role. The point I’m getting at is; I just realized something the other day; I don’t know how to let loose in a group setting. Every time I have the chance to (no matter if I’m drunk), I always going to stay in control of myself. That’s one quality I wish I could turn off, because it causes me not to have the type of fun I so desperately want to have. Can you relate?

Have you ever had times when you went out with friends or family, and you’re so use to playing the responsible role, that it’s hard for you to just let loose and do what you consider fun? I have, many times. Most times I don’t do what I really want, because I’m so use to being in a controlled environment. From living with my mother to now living with my boyfriend; there has always been someone in control of me (let’s not for get about work). That’s why I know things are going to have to change. I love everyone in my life, but I’m tired of being told what to do and judged, if I don’t want to do what they’ve told me too.

What they don’t seem to understand is; govern your life, not mine. But just to add to that; people being able to dominate me started with my mother’s ex-husband. He was a bastard of a man. Life with him is something I’ve been trying to let go, but haven’t been able too; because the pain of growing up with a man like him, is something that sticks with you. He never hit me, but he did his damage in other ways. If I never saw him again in life I would be just fine.

I’m sure you already know, I wasn’t the only one scarred from this union; my mother was also. He was never a good man to her. He always messed around on her with other women. I know my mom only allowed that to happen as many times as it did, because she was young and didn’t know how a man was suppose to treat her.

That’s why I write so many posts on the way men treat women; because it seems like many times women get the short end of the stick. Well, most of the women in my family seem too. It’s like society makes you feel: As long as you have a piece of a man, you should be happy, and cherish that piece. But I say we deserve monogamy just as much as any man. How is he going to expect you to be that prize for him; when he can’t reciprocate being a prize for you?

Photo Provided By: https://drchristina.com/its-time-to-stop-the-emotional-abuse-of-your-child/

Live every day as it was your last, because you never know when it will be