Short stories

When Will it End?

Disclaimer: Today’s topic I understand can be a little sensitive. So if you’re easily offended or the discussion of race offends you, you may want to leave now.

Good Morning Everyone,

 

I know the last week hasn’t been a pleasant one. There has been so much going on in the news with the George Floyd Killing. I didn’t watch the video. For someone like me who is very sensitive to others feelings and trauma; I physically couldn’t watch it.

When is it gonna STOP?! The killing for no reason, the harassing, bulling, taunting, lying.  I never understood why some won’t just let us live harmoniously in sync with one another.

To be honest I don’t think it will ever change. I’m glad that things aren’t as bad as they once were; but there’s still a lot of work that needs to be done. Theses men, women and children out here are loosing their lives’! The sad thing is; people only mourn them for a couple of days to a couple of weeks, then they’re forgotten. At least until there is another black man, woman, or child killed again for some stupid idiotic reason!

Many Black people say: “Why do we need White allies?”. We need allies from all ethnic groups, but we particularly need ones who are White because they’re the ones with universal respect. With there acknowledgement of prejudices happening against those of other ethnic backgrounds it could light a fire under those who feel our lives have no value.

There’s so much to say, but I fear the words escape me at the moment. So I’m just gonna tell you how I feel when going into ‘White spaces’. Anyone who knows me, knows I’m a person who loves people, but love my people more. I believe everything about us is beautiful; from our many times coily hair, to the magical melanin in our skin, that can make us dark as night. I can go on and on about what I love about being Black.

Apologies are cold comfort in yogurt-shop racial profiling | The ...But with all the positives come negatives; the constant fear of being pulled over, or the uneasiness of having someone follow you around the store, believing you’re going to steal because of your skin color. These are things White people don’t have to worry about. There’s a s*** load more of things Whites don’t ever have to contemplate; all because they’re the “Right” color. Loosing their life because someone felt threatened by their tone.

The more the reality hits me of how unequal we are, the more it saddens me that the only thing that make me different is my color. It saddens me because there are a lot of people out here who while kill a Black person before they would ever think of harming an animal. Many times I’ve seen how others are so quick to standup for Animal Rights, but when it comes to Black People it’s like saying, ‘F*** YOU! You should be happy that I’m even letting you breathe right now! 

I just wonder if those bigoted Whites were to get treated as they treat us, how would they feel to loose a loved one because the officer felt “threatened”? What if they had to prepare they’re children to be extra nice and polite, all because they wanted to make sure they came home alive. Or they lost someone of their ethnicity every month; how would they feel? What if they didn’t have the privilege of doing whatever and saying whatever to whom ever?  Just a question, that deserves an answer. 

 I’ve already made this too long, so I’ll stop here.

My Father Could Have Been Killed By Police – STIR Journal
The heartbreaking thing is; this isn’t all the men, women, and children lost during a police encounter.

Photos Provided By: http://www.stirjournal.com/2016/04/22/my-father-could-have-been-killed-by-police/, https://youtu.be/SASUEbuCnzA

As Always

Informative · Thoughts

Piece to HER Puzzle

disrespect-quote-6-picture-quote-1I’ve noticed men only acting like men when they’re trying to hookup. What is that?! I thought men are suppose to act like men all the time. They want women to act like women all the time, then they need to take their own advice, and do the same. IF I hear another man complain about what the next woman has on I’m gonna scream! Ahhhh!!! It’s so annoying! Most of them want to be the boss but don’t want to pay the cost. There’ve been so many men who want their woman to do what they say, like she’s their child or something, but also wants her to pay her own way and split everything down the middle. I don’t know about you, but that’s something that doesn’t sit right with me. The only way you’re going to get me to listen and do what you say is if you’re taking care of me. But even then I’m going to be rebellious, because 1.) I’m not your child, 2.) I’m a grown ass woman, and 3.) I make my own money.
Men calling women out of their name is a definite pet peeve of mine. I don’t get it, why do you feel the need to disrespect a woman?! I’ve seen men call women b******, h*** and a whole lot of other things I’m not gonna mention. Most times because she’s out of his or their league or because she curved him. Whatever the case, it never gives you the right to say derogatory things about a woman, and that goes for women too. I just wish we could learn to build each other up rather than tearing each other down. Everyone deserves respect until they prove other wise, these days people don’t think like that. Most people believe you are only given the respect you earn. I’m sure that’s a large reason as to why we have so many disrespectful millennials. It seems like almost every person that I’ve met born after 1985 has a really s***** disposition. It almost feels like, this generation is a very self serving one, who puts themselves before anything or anyone. That characteristic could be looked at as something positive, but it could also be seen as something negative. Especially when it’s perceived that you can throw away a persons feelings and needs just to serve your own. Summed up in one word A**hole.

how-to-get-rid-of-your-boyfriends-wandering-eyeAnother thing, many women are put to the test constantly when they’re in relationships. Time after time love and respect are tested, when women are in relationships with the wrong man. So many times women stay because “I love him” or “He’s a good provider” or “He’s the father of my kids”. It doesn’t matter if that man beat her within an inch of her life or says so many hurtful things til her self-esteem is none existent. Point is There are so many excuses for a woman to stay. But men I ask you, “Do you want to be her excuse or the piece to her puzzle?” Some of you may think, you’re that piece. Well I have news for you Honey, if she’s always crying, sad or mad because of something you did, sorry you’re not. In order for you to become a piece to her puzzle you have to bring something other than heartache and pain to the table.
In closing, most women just want to be loved, protected, and respected (cheating is a form of disrespect). If you’re not ready to provide those three things let her know, and stay single until then.!!!Attention!!!

Photos Provided By: https://www.lovepanky.com/women/how-to-tips-and-guide-for-women/how-to-get-rid-of-your-boyfriends-wandering-eye,

empowering · motivational · self-esteem · story telling · Thoughts

Toxic Love

I saw something I thought didn’t happen as much with men as it does with women. That was men dealing with abusive women. I didn’t know abusive women were so wide spread. It seems men get abused almost as much as women. The unfair thing when it comes to the law is, they’re usually seen as the potential abuser if the police were to be called during an altercation. What a lot of people don’t understand is men aren’t protected under the same set of laws when it comes to something like that. It’s even worse when it involves people of different ethnic groups.

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Time after time things are done to men that aren’t looked at as abuse because in most cases, it’s a woman doing it to a man. For instance, if a woman out of anger slaps her husband or boyfriend across the head, it’s not seen as abuse. But if the tables were turned and a man did that to a woman it would be seen for what it is. It shouldn’t matter what gender the person is. What’s sad, we have been conditioned to think when a woman hits a man it’s comic relief some how. Beating on someone is never funny. I remember a couple of weeks ago I saw this clip on Facebook of a woman dumping food on her man’s head and also throwing objects at him, because he wanted to do something she didn’t agree with. I have to say, the way she handled that situation was childish. If you have a disagreement while in a relationship you are suppose to be adult enough to talk out your problems. Not throw a temper tantrum because you can’t get things your way. I have to admit though, when I was younger I engaged in that type of behavior. Believe me, I’m not proud of it but that was a chapter in my life that will never be repeated because I’ve learned if you feel the need to put your hands on someone your in a relationship with, that isn’t the person for you or you need help to resolve your issues. For me, I needed to get away from that person because he caused me to turn into something I no longer recognized.

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In other cases with men dealing with abusive partners, they have to humble their selves immensely in order to keep the peace because they don’t know what might set their partner off. When you have to tiptoe around someone it’s never good or healthy. There’s no reason you should feel like you’re walking on eggshells when you’re with someone you love or are getting to know romantically. But a lot of men stay because they’ve been taught that a man is suppose to be able to take a hit. Not only that, a lot of times their ego has a lot to do with the reasons they stay. Reason being, most men don’t want to look soft in front of another man. So instead of being open about getting abused by their partner they’ll lie, try to make it seem like everything is okay, just so they can save face. But there’s a big problem with that way of thinking. You could get badly injured messing around with someone that has no concern for your wellbeing. But there’s something worse that could happen while with an abusive partner, doesn’t matter if it’s a male or female abuser. They could bring death upon you.

That’s something a lot of people in abusive relationships don’t keep in mind. All it takes is for the abuser to feel like you deserve to get hit or punched or sometimes hit by a car, what ever it is. Is it worth your life?! Do you love this person that much?! They hit you a little too hard or choked you just a little too long. Is it worth it?!

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I never understood people that could literally go to bed with someone that just beat them or choked them. Aren’t you afraid that you’ll go to sleep and never wake up? I’m sure people who deal with someone like that has to be fearful every minute of everyday. That is no way to live. You’re suppose to be happy and enjoying life, not being someone’s physical or emotional punching bag. Yes, there are emotional abusers too. Those are the people that dump on you to make themselves’ feel better. The point is, if the person doesn’t make you happy or makes you happy but you’re either fearful or sad most of the time, it’s time to let them go. This life is too short to deal with unnecessary pain and discomfort. Although you think you’ll never find anyone that makes you feel like they made you feel, press on! No matter how they make you feel when things are good, it doesn’t matter because they have a problem and need to get help. The sad thing is, as long as you continue to tolerate it, they’re going to keep pushing the limits because you continue to put up with it. In a lot of ways it’s like teaching a child what’s right and what’s wrong. You wouldn’t let your child get away with it, so don’t let them. Put them in their place and stand your ground. Don’t let fear trap you and make you stay with someone that doesn’t deserve you.

I’m sure you’re probably thinking, “Why does she care?” I care because someone really close to me went through years of abuse with almost every person they entered into a relationship with. I believe that’s another reason why I’m so sensitive to other peoples emotions. It was no fun watching someone you love and know deserves so much more, go through having their legs broken because they were thrown from a moving car or constantly having black eyes because their partner was having a bad day. There were countless things this individual went through. I don’t know how they did it, but I’m so thankful they did. Most people that go through hard times like this for years, sometimes decades, commit suicide. I’m so happy they saw the light before their was any, and realized they were worth so much more than any person in relationships with them ever made them feel.

To whomever reads this, I hope this post helps you in some way to acknowledge you deserve better. Man, woman whatever, everyone deserves happiness and someone that’s going to make them feel wanted, needed, loved, protected and safe. If you’re in a relationship and the person can’t offer that, there’s no need in wasting your time or energy.

Below are the links to the pictures. Also the first two websites listed are places that are dedicated to resolving this issue.

Photos Provided By: http://www.familyofmen.com/, https://equalitycanada.com/, 2.bp.blogspot.com/_pPyFslik5p8/TK3p3857wwI/AAAAAAAAAj4/rB3HsxvrqtQ/s400/327143-54317-58.jpg, buzznigeria.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/mean-black-woman-beating-her-black-husband-never-hit-a-woman-2015.jpg

health · self-esteem · story telling · Thoughts

Broken Men

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   Am I the only one that believes the way some men handle their emotions needs to change? There is a stigma with men and not being able to express their self. I know plenty people think about men and the way their emotions are going to come out in the long run. But what about the wives and girlfriends of these men that keep their emotions bottled up? Speaking as someone that has been in this situation before, it’s not fun.

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          I understand it isn’t good for the man because it causes them to act out in other ways. For example: high blood pressure, depression, becoming abusive either verbally or physically, cheating, and the list grows. Men need to start expressing their self to people closest to them, so their family, friends or lover could know what’s going on with them. That is the hardest thing to deal with, having someone you want to share everything with and can’t because they have a wall up. There’s no way for that relationship to grow when you emotionally can’t be open with the person you supposedly love. So many things come from people not being able to express their self. I understand that it isn’t just men, but that’s who this post is directed towards.

A lot of these abusive relationships come from men that have been hurt and don’t know what to do with the pain. I’m sure a lot of us don’t think about that, but that’s what it is. There are so many things that could have played a role in the way a young man looks at the world and the people in it. I’ll give you a very real story that happened to someone close to me.

Jaylen was a little boy loving life. Living and enjoying being a little boy. Being that he was very young he hadn’t encountered anything or anyone who meant him harm. That was until his mother fell in love with a man she thought was the love of her life. This man seemed like the perfect gentlemen for the first couple of months to year. But what the mother didn’t know was this man was more interested in her son than he was in her. See the source image
Months went by, the mother continued to be blindly in love. Signs of sexual abuse constantly got dropped in her lap, but she paid little to no attention to them, not wanting to face reality and thinking to highly of the man and not trusting in her baby. Also not realizing this once little bubbly, energetic, ball of joy, changed. Do to what’s been happening to him, he had become depressed, angry and didn’t trust anyone. But by the time the mother figured it out, it was too late. The pain and anger had already set in. 

There are so many problems with this situation. For one, the mother saw the signs, but did nothing because she didn’t want to face reality. But the biggest problem was she didn’t offer her son anyway to heal from the pain. Most likely she didn’t know what to do to help him heal, she didn’t believe him, or she didn’t care. I’m sure many people are probably thinking “How could she not care that someone raped her little boy?!” or “How could she not believe him?!” It’s very possible.

But the problem is whatever the case was, you now have this very angry confused little boy who grows up to be this angry confused man. Who doesn’t know how to deal with his anger. So he goes out and hurts other people, because hurt people, hurt people. Or he suffers in silence because he feels so much pain that he doesn’t want to burden anyone with his problems. Or the one I think rings most true; He’s too embarrassed and uncomfortable to admit the nightmares he experienced as a child, because he may feel it makes him appear less of a man.

stressed black man

We have to work on making our men feel like men, especially when they were put in situations they didn’t have the power to change. Let them know what they went through is not who they are. It’s something they went through, and over came. Also be there for them when they’re ready to open up about things that’s bothering them in their past, present or future. They will love you even more for that. And remember when he tells you something critical, you don’t have the right to tease him about it or bring it up in an argument, no matter how mad you get. That’s going to cause him to shut down and go further into depression.

In conclusion, therapy works wonders. If you have a problem and need someone to talk to and you either have the money or the insurance to do so, go see a therapist. Let them help you work your life out. Even if you don’t have money or insurance find someone you trust and that’s willing to listen, and pour your heart out. You don’t realize it now, but getting all that bad energy out helps you move forward in life. Your spouse will be extremely happy you did. Never feel like you have to hold things back from your therapist because in the end, your only hurting yourself.

 

Always Remember, Lead With Love!

 

 

Photos provided by: www.blackloveandmarriage.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/man-sad-e1327286109478.jpghttps://c1.staticflickr.com/1/681/22055347934_006c2312cc_b.jpg, https://www.entertainmentmalawi.com/live-a-stress-free-life-you-wont-be-measured-by-what-you-don-have/

motivational · story telling

New Ventures

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            I’m ready for life to change for me. I know things are not going to be the same, there’s no way they can be. I’m praying for big positive changes to come in to my life. I’m finally finding things I’m interested in that I want to do. This is a big turn around from the way I use to think. For me, life was just ample opportunity to have free time. That was before I started learning of ways to make money online. Truth is, I’m still learning. But it’s nice to know there are other ways to make money other than going to someone’s establishment making them money while your making peanuts.

 I’ve realized the people that reap big benefits are the ones who take risks. That’s a lesson  I’m learning more and more everyday, and it’s actually fun learning all the ways there is to make money without leaving your home. I’m still researching, but I promise once I find something that works, I will definitely let it be known. The one thing I’ve noticed about these online business’ is there’s a lot to learn if you want to go into business for yourself. It’s not as easy as a lot of online business owners like to make it seem in the beginning, if it is there’s a problem. With any business you have to study it first and get all your ducks in a row before selling. There are going to be countless hours invested learning about the business. Once that happens it may become a little easier because you’ve learned enough about it to want to learn more. Another thing to keep in mind is, the internet is constantly changing and improving. So that means you’re going to have to keep up with the changes of the market if you want to make sure your business is going to continue to do well. There’s no such thing as autopilot, at least not in my vocabulary, because there’s always ways to improve.

“Always remember, never let anyone dim your light because they don’t understand your shine”

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