Short stories

Fear of Failure

What’s up Everyone? As always, I hope you are doing well and having grand life experiences.

 Frustration is something I live with on a daily basis. I thought to make it in this world during this time in history was going to be a lot easier than it has been. I find my main problem has been staying consistent. I’m working on it. It’s been a constant problem in trying to grow my audience. In the past there have been so many things I’ve started, but stopped because I lost interest in them. 

Like I’ve said in so many blogs before, if there is something you want to do, work towards it everyday until you’ve reached that goal. I find that to be easier said than done. I try to follow my own advice, but many times my emotions get in the way of my success. This is never something I count on happening, it just does. But the good thing is, I’m making strides to change that. I’m tired of my emotions setting me up for failure. 

Once I heard this girl say, “What you’re doing right now is what you’ll be doing in the next 2 to 3 years from now. So what that means is; If you have a crappy job now and you want to be your own boss, but you’re not doing anything to create that reality; don’t be surprised if all you have is that crappy job that pays you minimum wage. Remember in order to reap any benefit you have to put in work. The harder and more you work towards your goal, the bigger the pay off.   

I’m sure this is something that many of us know; but we’re just not ready to take on the responsibility of creating our own reality. This usually happens because we are afraid of failing. I know I am. That might be the real reason why it’s hard for me to be consistent; because I’m so afraid that I’ll continue to put in maximum effort and never be good enough to make a career out f this. One thing I’ve learned though is that you have to throw caution to the wind and  do what you want to do anyway. Learn to do it because it feels good. I know that’s why I write.

 If it makes you feel good, no one should be able to tell you anything. Remember, just because some don’t like it enough to help you grow, there will be others that will because they believe in you and what you stand for.

 

As always if you enjoyed this blog, please make sure to like share & comment!

 

Feelings

Watch “When life gets to you” on YouTube

Good Morning everyone!

As you know sometimes life has a way of seeming too heavy sometimes.

Well for me, now is that time. I only created this video out of desperation. Mainly to relieve the pressure of obstacles I’m facing at the current time.

I may not say it always; but I really appreciate and love every single one of you who take the time to check in on me from day to day.

Also if you’d love to try a soap that’s going to keep you feeling great long after using it, try LuLusLavishLathers.com. Soaps that Cater to you.

Or looking for a great read Loyalty Love Lies and Betrayal would be that book for you. Sold only on Amazon.com

As Always

empowering · Experiences · Feelings · Rant · Thoughts · Venting

Reality

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Have you ever gone to sleep, and slept so good you didn’t want to get up?…

Not because the sleep was so good. Even though I’m sure that would be true. More because while you were asleep you had no worries. You didn’t have to think about going to work or what bills needed your attention. It was just you, and your bed.

That was the type of sleep I had just before waking. Then as soon as I woke up all those negative feelings came rushing back. I’m sure there’s going to be a silver lining coming from all of this negativity I’m experiencing. I just wish it would come already. I’m not going to bore you with the details that are my life. But I feel like I’m close to my lowest point.

I don’t want to make this one of those depressing blogs. I know….

Too late!

I don’t want it to seem like I don’t have anything to be grateful for because I do. I have plenty to be thankful for. My mother, family, my job(s), my published book, this blog, my intelligence. Really… I could keep going. But the things I’m searching for in life have not made their way to me yet; things like freedom and financial stability.

I’m trying to keep a positive mindset, but sometimes I find myself going down the rabbit hole of negativity.

If you have gone through this stage at any point in life, make sure to share your story. I would love to read them. Who knows, my story maybe simliar to yours.

All video and photos Provided by: YouTube.com,

empowering · Feelings

Emotional Stagnation

Emotional Stagnation- Is when a person, people, or situation causes you to feel like you’re emotionally bound to remain the same.

F.Y.I: That definition is completely made up. But if this were or is a real combination of words, this would be my definition for it.

Have you ever had times when you felt like emotionally you were stuck doing the same thing because it was what others expected of you?

You realize you don’t have the freedom you crave, but you stay because it’s still better than what you have known all your life. If you’re not clear on what I mean, let me give you some examples:

Being with him is better than living with my mom and step dad. At least he takes care of me. Sure he may knock me around sometime. But I don’t have to worry about someone coming in my room in the middle of the night fondling me.

Or

He’s a great provider. So what if he cheats. At least I don’t have to worry about where I’m going to lay my head at night.

These are just a few examples of the things we reduce ourselves down to, because we are so use to being treated as less than. That we start to think that is the type of treatment we deserve. But you have to know what ever you take at the beginning, is what you’re going to have to continue to take as long as you have any kind of relationship with them; including work relationships.

You have to teach people how to treat you. So if you feel some type of way about anything, you need to make it known, so people can start to respect your opinion.

Q: What happens when you never have an opinion about anything?

A: People start to label you as a pushover and loose respect for you. In the long run this makes working anywhere harder than what it has to, because you’re the person that will do what ever you’re told without any push back.

Now because of this heavier work load, you start to hate work and the people that are in positions that are over you; all because you were too fearful to open your mouth and let them know how you feel about the amount or kind of work you’ve been given. When in reality the only person you can blame is yourself, for not speaking up when you had the chance. I understand some of us don’t speak up because we’re afraid of loosing our job. But keep in mind, if they want to fire you, their going to fire you. Also know; That isn’t the only job on earth. You can get another job. It might not be easy, but it’s possible.

Inconclusion, always do what’s best for you. Even if a situation seems a lot better than your last, you can always place yourself in a better on. Do not stay emotionally stagnate when you know you can do better. Don’t do yourself the disservice of staying in a situation that isn’t serving you, when you know you are capable of more.

The sky is the Limit

Love you all, always.

Photos Provided By: https://www.livingmagazine.net/, https://www.mydomaine.com/emotional-health

Thoughts · Venting

Not Feeling It

Hope everyone is doing better than me this morning.

I’m just gonna say it…… I’m not feeling it.

I don’t feel like being in anyone’s face today. I really just want school to be over. I’m thankful for the job. I have to keep saying that, because I know how easy it is for your complaints to cancel out your gratitude. But like I stated on previous posts, “I know I was meant for a whole lot more than this.”

In all my years on this earth, I’ve never had a job that I’ve loved let alone liked for more than a month. I always try to figure out whether my reason for not liking it is do to my mental battles or because the job  really isn’t a fit for me. To be honest I could fit in almost anywhere, because I work hard where ever I go. But lately working hard doesn’t give me the same feeling it use to. I use to feel like I accomplished something. But now, all I feel is empty. I know that is due to me working hard for others but never really receiving any kind of promotion or accolades because of my hard work. I’m sure some of you have been there. You know, doing all you can to show you appreciate your job and that you’re grateful to be working. The only problem that I’ve come to realize about this over and over is; when your boss realizes that you need the job, they begin to treat you that way. If you haven’t experienced that type of treatment I pray you never do. That type of treatment is usually void of respect and consumed with their needs. After a while, depending on what kind of person they are, your needs or concerns get canceled out all together. They start to believe what ever they decide, you will be okay with. So they don’t bother to ask you. In many ways it could be considered your fault they’re treating you that way.

I’m sure you may not think it’s your fault, because you’re the one providing the service and doing your job to the best of your ability. But one thing you have to keep in mind, people treat you based on what you show them. Not based on what’s right or wrong. So in retrospect, most people are only doing what their designed to do (take advantage of the weakest link). 

I had way more to say. But I guess I’ll save it for another post.

I hope you have  beautiful, life changing, positive day.

Feelings · Informative · motivational · Thoughts

Money V.S Time

Many people probably don’t think about how much time we waste working when we are really put hear to live, have experiences, go through heartache and the high from being in love. We go through life with blinders on, only thinking about material things; some of us anyway. But that isn’t the purpose of life, that is what man has made us believe; is that the dollar is the most important thing on this earth. They have even set it up so that we think about it everyday and how we can get some more of it. There are people who go through their whole lives trying to make enough of it, because they’re just trying to get by. Working a job they hate because they have to put food on the table and pay their bills, and it’s just the way it is.

A lot of people don’t think about it, but money and everything else that can be traded for goods is just a made up currency. It has power because we let it have power. There are many people who loose their self trying to get it, because they let the possession of it control the way they view other people. Also they start to believe they can do and say anything because they have it.

When it comes down to it generally speaking, money can be looked at like food; because it’s something we constantly want. A little can go a long way, but most of us aren’t satisfied by the bare minimum. We want to have everything. See even though some of us don’t believe we have an obsession or addiction, it’s proven that we do when it comes to money.  In so many ways people who work their whole lives trying to possess it become slaves to it, especially those who work these jobs that require you to do a 80+ or 100+ hour work week. If you think about the amount of hours you have per week, you would see no amount of money is worth your time.

The real goal is to do something that doesn’t require you to dedicate all your time too, but find the balance you need to make money and enjoy life and it’s experiences. If you never thought about it, I’m gonna make you think about the time you miss out on having fun and or being with family and friends.

The average person working in corporate America works many times at least an 80+ week. Think about how much time they have to spend with their loved ones. If you break it down 32hrs give or take a week, and that’s if they sleep a full 8hrs. To some that may not seem like a big deal, but to me it does. I always believed the bulk of your life should be dedicated to what you want to do not what you have to do. I believe that’s why I commend people who have found what they want to do in this life, because they have found a way to do what they love and profit from it. In the near future I hope to be as fortunate.

empowering · Informative · motivational · Thoughts

J.O.B

(Just Over Broke)

That is what a lot of us are. We work day in and day out making money just to pay bills, Sure we’re thankful that we have a job, so that we have the means to take care of ourselves. But that isn’t the answer to living a long fulfilling life. I never understood how people who don’t make much have to pay so much in taxes. I would love for someone to explain that to me. The people who have these business and more money to spend in one life time, are the ones who should be paying these outrageous taxes, because they don’t seem to work as hard as the people who work the minimum wage jobs. I know some people would say, “If you don’t want to end up at a dead end job, apply yourself and get a degree or learn a tread.” Although they may be right in some sense, doesn’t mean that getting a degree or learning a tread is feasible for everyone.

Life happens, and the things that we dreamed of doing when we were growing up starts to turn into, “What can I do right now to make money?” When you’re young, you think getting paid a couple hundred a week is okay. But when you get older and find out how this world really works, you start to realize that your time is worth a lot more than a few hundred dollars a week. If you really start to do your research, you would know their are people out here who have no degree or trade, they’re just really good at what they do, and people pay them accordingly. That’s all there is to it; you have to fake it until you make it.

Anything is possible as long as you have the motivation and determination to make it so.

Key thing to always remember: People believe in you when you believe in you.

Rant · Thoughts · Venting

Learning To Let Go

You work and work for years, for someone else’s company. Only to find out that you could get fired for their computer’s mistake. That is close to the process that I’m facing at this time.

high bossLet me start from the beginning. I work for this big retail chain that has employed so many people, but are also quick to let go so many people. I’ve been working there for almost half my life. Not that I want to be there, but like I say, “It’s a job.” Plus I’m too lazy and comfortable to look for another one. Truth is I knew that this day would come sooner or later. Not to mention, I’ve been wanting to quit for the longest. Maybe this is my way out. I was just hoping to have something else going for myself. That’s why I have been working at tryin to grow this blog, because it’s something I love to do. Like I always say, “It’s better to get paid to do something you love rather than something you can’t stand.” At first, working there wasn’t so bad. But the longer I stayed the worse it seemed to get over the years. Before, my place of employment use to care about the people they served and the people that worked for them. When the owner died, that all changed. Now it’s all about money.

I’m sure that is what a lot of businesses are about, but that isn’t the main focus. Most companies at least have an after thought of the customers experience. This company cares nothing about the customers let alone the employees. The sad part about it is, they have realized people are going to continue to shop there because it’s a one stop shop. So, the complaining and video taping is going to do nothing. I’ve also noticed most times customers lie on employees because they’re trying to get a free gift card. That is beside the point. But they do this and they don’t seem to realize that the only thing the company is doing is pacifying them, making sure that they’re going to keep coming back to spend their money in a store that could care less about them. Some customers probably know this, but are not going to stop shopping there because of convenience. I mean really, ‘Who wants to go to a whole lot of other stores to get everything you need when you could just go to one?” Not me, but I will to prove a point.kf

 

But I’m getting away from the point of this whole blog. Like I said I have been working there for years and something happened that proves that it wasn’t my mistake. The company’s machine has been glitching and adding extra money on to customers cards. The good thing is, I’m not the only person that has experienced the glitches. So that helps me to have a stronger argument of why it wasn’t my mistake. This has also happened to a co-worker of mine, twice . The only thing is, her customers caught the mistake and told her, mine didn’t. So, now I’m faced with losing my job if anything else happens and I’m involved. At this point I’m asking myself if it’s even worth it. I know it isn’t. People tell me everyday that I’m too intelligent to do the type of work I do. Truth be told, I know that. I just don’t want to leave that job to go to another, because working for someone else wasn’t the plan. I wanted to have my own business. I’m not going to loose focus of that either. I refuse to loose site of what I really want for this life. I’m not going to get caught up in the negative things that this world is trying to feed me. I know that there is a bigger purpose for this life of mine. I’m just going to try to stay positive and work on bettering me. I’m just thankful that someone else has been experiencing it, so that they won’t be able to put it all on me.

I love you all, and I hope you have a blessed and beautiful day.

 

Thanks For Reading!!

Photos Provided By:  https://qns.com/story/2016/08/04/key-food-employees-strike-outside-of-baysides-food-universe-and-other-locations/https://www.pinterest.com/pin/215258057168580358/https://www.deviantart.com/shady06/art/Think-Big-Wallpaper-Pack-305352588

story telling · Venting

God’s Plan

When life get’s tough what do you do?

I know you should tough it out, but me I worry. I worry so bad that I can’t think straight. My mind turns to mush and I start to feel like it’s the end of the world. I know it isn’t, but that’s the way I feel when stressful things happen in my life. I’m sure God has a plan. I’m just not able to see it yet. I think if I knew what the plan was I would feel a whole lot better about this whole thing. But for right now I guess I’ll have to find a way to keep my worries from killing me.

gods_plan_his-will I’m sure you’re probably like, “Why is she being so dramatic?”  I know there’s a lot worse things that could happen. But that’s me, ‘The Worrier’. When life happens there’s nothing you can do but ride the wave and hope you come out on top. My mother says that everything is going to be okay, I really hope so because big things are starting to happen in my life, there’s no turning back now. I have to stop being scared of what the future may hold for me. I’m sure I wasn’t given this life to waste it. I know there is a bigger plan for my life. I just have to learn to walk in faith, and trust God and his plan.

I hope you all had a loving and blessed day.

Have A Good Night

Don’t forget to stop by our Elevated Inspiration Store. Where our goal is to inspire you to be your best self everyday!!!!

 Photos Provided By: https://gbclander.org/2015/09/01/gods-plan/https://steemkr.com/christian-trail/@dhen2/steemdevo-discerning-god-s-planhttps://thoughts-about-god.com/biblestudies_/don-meyers_gods-plan, https://www.gracechapelga.com/sermons/gods-plan-be-at-peace

 

self-esteem · Thoughts

Soft-Spoken

What is it with people trying to pin things on the soft spoken?! That really pisses me off! I go through this a lot, as I’m sure other people such as myself do. The problem is I have so much to say in my head, but it never seems to make it to my mouth. I’m always afraid I’m gonna hurt someone’s feelings. I know, I shouldn’t be worried about that because they weren’t worried about hurting mine. But I have a problem with treating people how I would like to be treated, even if they don’t show me that same courtesy.

There have been so many times I have bitten my tongue in regard for the next persons feelings or because I’m afraid of how it would negatively impact me. When I tell you, the people at my job be trying it, they be really trying it, managers especially. There have been so many times I have been threatened. It seems like some of them get drunk with power, because some of them like to pick on someone like me. If you don’t know, I am a very soft spoken, compassionate, empathetic person. At times those are things I like about myself, but other times I wish I was rough around the edges. I’ve realized because of these qualities people learn how to manipulate me easily, that’s what I hate the most. It almost feels like there is no place in this world for people that feel and care as deep as me. I say that because I always seem to get taken advantage of because of my openness. I can’t help it, I wish I could. But I’m learning I’m not the problem, the people around me that are doing the manipulating are the problem. I just have to love my flaws and learn to navigate this world, because it’s not going to bend for me. The problem now is learning to bend without breaking.

 

If you go through these same struggles, please shoot me a comment and maybe we could try to come to a resolution with each others help. And for those of you that are able to stand your ground, please give me some tips, so that I can learn to do the same.

I also wanted to thank you all so much for the support. Because of you I always have something to look forward too.

Have a Beautiful Day!