Short stories

Love thy Self

Good Morning!!

How is everyone doing today?

I hope things are going in your favor and that you are making some major strides in securing your future.

There’s something I was made aware of last night. That thing was; you can’t just date anyone and expect for you all to fit eventually. This is something I never really paid attention to in relationships past. I really thought before that you could date someone and eventually you all would grow together, no matter the difference. Now that I’m older I see that is not the case. There are things you’re gonna run into that just are not going to fit and never will. I guess that is the lesson past relationships taught me.

You may be wondering or you already know I had to experience this fairly recent in order to be talking about it today. You would be right in your assumption. I was open to giving this guy a chance, but he didn’t want the same things I wanted. He was more concerned with what I wanted to do with my life then what he wanted to do with his own. All in all he seemed like a nice guy; just not the guy for me.

The other thing was my mother was so happy when she saw me speaking to him. Mainly because she wants some grandbabies. Not only that, she believes having someone to love you makes you feel more complete. She’s not understanding along with other people I’m close with, that at the current time I’m not looking for another half, nor do I want one. I’m really just wanting to take the time to find out what I want for myself. That is why I have not spoken to or seriously engaged in conversation with anyone I could potentially get close to. I know how I am, and because of that I know that everything I’m trying to make work for me now would come to a stand still if I seriously pursued a relationship. That is something that just can not happen at the current moment.

I’m grateful I was able to stop and assess the situation before it got any bigger. I say that because I have been in situations like that before and I’ve rolled with it; not really providing any pushback. All because I didn’t feel I was worthy of an opinion. Dare I say,

“Not anymore Baby!”

You are gonna hear this mouth, especially if I don’t like something. Or you may not hear from me at all, because I already know what your end game is. I’m not falling for it again.

To many times I have been left with egg on my face.

Not this time Honey”

I am the one that is going to decide my future. No one other than me gets a say so in what I choose to do with my life. I have given boyfriends past too much control over my life and greatness. That will never happen again.

“I have far to much to do to be fooled up with you!”

For those of you who feel you need someone to be happy; please know that isn’t true. What is true, is that you are supposed to love you before you could ever allow yourself to love them and them love you back. If you’re not in this headspace I suggest you take the time to learn to love you before you add someone else to the equation.

As Always 

Short stories

Hard truth

Good morning!

I really hope everyone is having a great day.

Over the past week things have been hittin differently. I’m not sure if it was the car accident or my baby of 15 years passing or my car clunking out on me, that has me thinking of things a little different. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always had a mindset of working for myself. But this is the first time I’m choosing to act on it.

For years I’ve tried things, hoping that it would be my ticket out of Monotony Ville. To no avail I’m still where I started from; to be honest even lower. Reason being, I’ve allowed life to happen to me and not for me.

What that means is, I haven’t taken planned disciplined action towards goals I wanted and still want to accomplish. That was my first major mistake. In doing that I did myself a diservice.

I knew what it would take for me to make it. I just didn’t exercise what I knew. This was mainly because I wanted to find a faster way to make it. As a result of trying and failing to find a quicker way to make money, I lost way more then I’ve gained.

The plan is to now apply what I’ve learned and turn my negatives ( inconsistencies) to the life I’ve been dreaming of. The true goal is to keep one target in mind and hit it. I can’t tell you how many quote unquote “great ideas” I’ve had. But because of inconsistency I never saw them through. Because I was looking for the financial reward before putting in the work needed to receive it.

If you’re like me-looking for a quick way to obtain financial freedom. Please slow down. Learn how to focus on one goal at a time. I find that is a better way to set and achieve your goals.

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Short stories

Vitamin D?

Good Morning Yall,

I’m sure this day is turning out to be the blessing that it is, for you. The only thing you have to do is believe it and know it is going to be a great day because you woke up this morning. I’m sure you probably hear that a lot, because I know I do; but it’s true. Simple things like waking up aren’t promised to us. So we need to learn to slow down and appreciate the little things.

With that being said, I had a session with my therapist; as I tend to do these days. We ended up speaking about the Covid-19 vaccine. Mainly because there have been plenty people around me who’ve gotten the shot. The only reason I haven’t gotten it is because I have the tendency to be a bit of a conspiracy theorist. But after having a factual conversation about it I’m really considering getting the shot. Considering; doesn’t mean I am, just considering it.

On another note regarding health. I had No clue vitamin D was so important to peoples over all health. From what I’ve read, we get most of our vitamin D from the Sun. Then there are other sources such as; food, UV lamps, or a supplement.

Truth be told your diet is one of the main deciding factors as to how much vitamin D your body can absorb; the other is your level of activity. Remember you need movement for the natural flow of things. You don’t move- things start to settle. The longer you are inactive, the harder it becomes to move and have your body’s natural flow take place.

It’s sad that I’m just now understanding health and the way it works. There’re things I should have been raised knowing. But to be honest health was the last thing anyone from my neck of the woods was worried about. Life was more about surviving and having the chance to better your life once you got old enough to make your own decisions.

So now that I am a grown woman, I just feel like I’m playing catch up. At times it feels like I’m fumbling through life with the lights off. Hoping to find my way (eventually).

Please don’t tell me I’m the only one who feels like this? I need to know I’m not the only one in my late 30’s still trying to figure this thing out.

Photo Provided By: Vitamin D Images, Stock Photos & Vectors | Shutterstock

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Short stories

Female Male Dynamic

Question: Has the female male dynamic changed much since the 2000s?

  There has been much going on between the woman and man since the beginning of time. First the men were the providers and protectors and the women were the nurturers and the ones you went to for reason. They were also the ones who kept the house in order along with other duties. In this day and age that has changed. As most of us know times have advanced, and as a result, so has the role of the woman. I’m sure this isn’t true across the board, but everyday we’re making strides for women every where  to have the same rights as any man.

With that being said, there are some things I see a lot of women going through because we are the bearers and carriers of the seed. Because of this we are many times the one who takes responsibility when our other half does not want too. This is something I’ve spoken about before and just can’t shake loose. I’m sure this has a lot to do with growing up in a single parent household; my mother being the backbone of our family, emotionally and financially.

She like many other woman who’ve become mothers at ages as young as 12, 16 or sometimes younger, have had to put themselves to the side to make a way for the little person they have growing inside them. That’s if they’re willing to take on the responsibility.

I ask a simple question that deserves an answer.

“Why?”

Why is society the way it is? How did we get to this point? I understand in love or because of a woman’s nature she will fall victim to deception. That may have a lot to do with men being the decision makers.

I wish we all could be open minded and truly hear what our fellow (wo)man has to say. Regardless of gender, color, ethnicity, sexual orientation or any other factor I’ve failed to mention. I feel once we’re able to move beyond that we’ll all become better versions of ourselves.

If this is or has been a concern of yours, I would love to hear your thoughts

As Always

Short stories

Thoughts about growing up

How is everyone doing?!

There are thoughts that have been swirling around in my mind for years. First one:

“Am I capable of making it on my own?”

This is and has been a huge concern of mine my whole adult life. I believe it’s something I constantly think about because I’ve never lived alone in all my 38 years on this earth.

The other thing that makes me question whether I have what it takes to make it is my procrastination. It’s baaaad! Really bad. There have been countless times that there’s something I have to do, but don’t because I continuously push that thing further and further back until I never do it. That’s the main reason when things are do I go in to a panic mode; because I never do things ahead of time. If I did, it would save me the unnecessary stress.

The other things I think of often are “Will I ever make it being my own boss” and the other is “Will I be alone forever?” For as far back as I can remember I’ve wanted to be my own boss. The thing that constantly sets me back is constantly trying and starting NEW things. I ‘ve realized I do this because I’m trying to find a way to make it out of a 9 to 5. Really doesn’t matter what 9 to 5 it is, I don’t want any of those! I really just want to pour in to something and in return that thing reward me and pour back into me.

Then with the thought of possibly being alone for the rest of my life… that is something I’m kind of looking forward to at the time. I’m just not sure how I’m gonna feel about that in the long-term. One thing’s for certain though, many men feel like women and many women are acting like men. It’s almost like we’ve switched roles. Just for clarification, I’m not speaking of every man. I’m only speaking of those that believe a woman is equal to a man in worth in every single way. Also those women and men who don’t recognize how important the union between a man and a woman is.

The problems I see arise these days when women and men enter into a relationship together, many times the man is putting out feminine energy and the woman is putting out masculine energy. In my opinion this seems to happen when boys get babied and girls get raised.

If you feel that isn’t a true statement, please make sure to leave a comment and it will be a topic on the podcast.

As Always

Short stories

Spring Break

What is up my beautiful people?

I’ve been thinking about this week for a long time. This week is Spring Break for Palm Beach County. And since I work with a school, it is also spring break for me! Meaning that I do not have to report to work for a full week! That alone is cause to celebrate. But what put the icing on the cake was my family coming down.

This was such a big thing because there is a part of our family that I haven’t seen in years (that’s partly my fault). I have to say though that I had a great time spending time with my cousins and just getting that complete feeling again. I really hadn’t noticed how much it affected me not to have them here.

I understand that not having them here is something I’m gonna have to get over. I will in do time. But the real thing I had to take in to account is my lack of change. I realized over the years there has been much that has changed with them, but I’ve stayed the same. Not in away saying that is a bad thing because it isn’t. It just makes me take a closer look at myself and helps me to realize; time waits for NO man. Meaning, it’s time for me to put fear to the side and start living freely and with out the worry of judgement.

Have you ever just had those close family members that you admire because they’re able to go through many situations without fear or they have fear but they find a way to make that fear none existent? Those are the qualities I’m working to build within myself. Honestly it was just inspiring to watch how fearless my family is. If they want something they go for it.

The other thing is, they all are fighters. I’m not speaking in the physically form per say, but they’ll fight if they had too. I’m really speaking of spiritually. They will go toe to toe for their family. That’s why I love my people. But there is still work we need to do. As I’m sure everyone’s family has something they need to work on.

Inconclusion, I can’t wait until we get together again.

As Always 

Short stories

Trust You

Good Morning!!! Hope everyone is well.

At the current moment there are so many things going through my mind. To be honest I do this to myself. Things could be so much easier if I just trusted myself.

Over the years there have been so many things I wanted to try; but didn’t go all the way with because of fear. Truth be told if fear wasn’t a major factor for me, I would’ve been some where in the world living it up. I truly believe that.

Instead I’m here working a job that isn’t my passion and wracking my brain trying to figure out a way to get out of the current situation I’m in.

See I’ve always had ideas. Some I acted on, but never gave my all too. The reason that is, is do to not really believing in myself. I understand that’s my downfall.

I’m in this situation because I’ve trusted other people’s advice more than I’ve trusted my own. This is another reason I feel lost. But I’m slowly making my way back.

I understand it’s going to take loads of work for me to get in the headspace I need to be in, in order to succeed at life. And I’m okay with that.

We all go through it at some point in our life. But what really matters is what you do to get out of it.

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Short stories

Dream Bigger than your current circumstance

Good Morning!!!! Hope all is well.

Let me open this with a question. Have you ever been at a point in life where you’ve felt at your lowest? It’s like you’re struggling to find air, peace, mental clarity, and your life path.

It’s like no matter how hard you push to get over the hump, the hump seems too steep to conquer.

What I’ve come to realize is; just let go. It’s the hardest thing to do. But once you do it, things will start flowing in your direction.

Have you ever noticed when you’re tense about something it seems as if everything is at a stand still? But when you let go and give it over to God (The Universe) things just start flowing organically.

The reason this happens is; you’re allowing for the energy to flow freely. You also understand what you feel you attract.

This is why it’s so important to stay positive, truly believe the words you’re saying and let negative feelings and thoughts go.

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Short stories

I want it so bad I can taste it

Working toward something just to get put off and start working on something else. There had been times when I was told what I wanted to do in life was not obtainable. I understood where these people were coming from, but this was my dream and there was NO way I was going to let someone tell me that I can’t get out of this life what I truly want.

For a long time I let what people told me dictate my actions. In many ways I’m still allowing peoples opinions to dictate my actions. Worrying how they would feel if I didn’t follow their advice. But it’s time for things to change and my life to take a new direction. Living for people has gotten me nothing but disappointment and a life that I’m unhappy with.

Let me be brutally honest; I followed what others told me to do because I was too afraid to listen to my own thoughts and what God had to tell me. Over the years there has been so much that he has given to me and I have done nothing with. There have been whole novels that he’s given to me in my sleep. Ideas I’ve been too afraid to act on, because it required me to be a lot more extroverted than I am initially.

Over the years there have been so many things I’ve tried. Money I’ve paid. All because I did not want to work for anyone; and that is still true today. Everyday I have thoughts on what I could do to become my own boss. As I’m sure you see there isn’t anything that has panned out as of yet. I’m sure that is do to my short tension span.

The one thing I know I would love to do for the rest of my life is write. But if I’m honest I know that I won’t be able to half ass writing. It’s not that it’s hard to get paid for it, it’s more of being a writer that stands out of the crowd. When you’re able to do that you have a better chance of better pay, more opportunities and recognition.

The only thing I’ve constantly have been working toward this whole time is getting paid for what I love to do. I’m going to continue to work at it. I’ll be trying to figure it out until I die, because I know that is what I was put here to do.

If there is anything you feel nagging at you, you haven’t done because you’re afraid of what people will say; go ahead and do that thing. It’s going to keep bothering you until you do it.

As Always 

Short stories

Being of Service

Good Evening!!!!

There’s something I’ve been doing for years that I’ve become really good at. That thing is being other people’s right hand. There is nothing wrong with that, it’s just not what I want to do with my life. Don’t get me wrong there are benefits to making someone else look good; sometime physical and sometimes emotional.

There are those of us that have become so good at this, we tend to do it seamlessly. Many times because we enjoy giving to others. For a time I enjoyed doing this. This was do to always needing approval from my peers and employers. But as of now that is not the current head space I’m in.

Sometimes the people you’re building up only look at you as your job title and nothing more. Then you have others that are able to see you for who you are. That type of relationship can become great, because the person who’s getting the help realizes how imperative it is to have you on their team. Then there are others who act as if they appreciate you. Then you find them doing or saying something that shows they see you as beneath them. This typically occurs when that person has more financially stability than the person who’s helping them.

This is a concept that I’m all too familiar with. That being said; I would love to blame that person for their actions, but it isn’t their fault. It’s mine for allowing that type of treatment. If you don’t know or if it slipped your mind, “People only treat you the way you allow them to.”

Inconclusion, helping others feels good, but only when it’s appreciated, not expected.

If you’ve experienced working in situations such as this, leave a comment on how you dealt with it or if you dealt with it.

Photo Provided By: (54) Pinterest

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