Forgive me. I know that was a little cheesy. But I work in a school. What do you expect?
Well something that crosses my mind often is freedom. Freedom to be who you are, do what you want to do, go where you want to go.
I’m sure this is a major concern of mine, because everything I do I have to answer to someone. To be honest, I’m tired of it!
There have been many days I just want to go walk away from everything that isn’t making me happy.
Recently, I spoke to my therapist and she asked; “Why are you so concerned with making lots of money?” I told her; “The way I see it, money equates to freedom.”
For a long time I knew I wanted to be wealthy, but I was never clear on the Why. Now I understand why. This may not always be the answer others give. But freedom is definitely my why.
If you find yourself struggling with bouts of depression and they’re because of your current position, try finding and focusing on that thing that puts a spring in your step. For me that is financial freedom. That may not be what makes you happy and that is okay. We are all different.
At the current moment there are so many things going through my mind. To be honest I do this to myself. Things could be so much easier if I just trusted myself.
Over the years there have been so many things I wanted to try; but didn’t go all the way with because of fear. Truth be told if fear wasn’t a major factor for me, I would’ve been some where in the world living it up. I truly believe that.
Instead I’m here working a job that isn’t my passion and wracking my brain trying to figure out a way to get out of the current situation I’m in.
See I’ve always had ideas. Some I acted on, but never gave my all too. The reason that is, is do to not really believing in myself. I understand that’s my downfall.
I’m in this situation because I’ve trusted other people’s advice more than I’ve trusted my own. This is another reason I feel lost. But I’m slowly making my way back.
I understand it’s going to take loads of work for me to get in the headspace I need to be in, in order to succeed at life. And I’m okay with that.
We all go through it at some point in our life. But what really matters is what you do to get out of it.
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I hope everyone is well. I know it’s been a long while since I’ve posted something. As most of you know my health hasn’t been working to better me.
As of now I feel that is changing because I figured out what was wrong. Can you take a guess?…..
As the days go by I’m starting to feel a lot better. I have a doctor’s appointment, but that won’t be happening till the end of the month. So naturally I had to find something that was going to help me out in some way.
I can’t even begin to tell you the discomfort I’ve felt over the last couple of months. But I still found a way to push through.
During this time I’ve also realized there’s nothing to really be afraid of. The only thing any of us should be afraid of is lose of life.
That’s why I’m learning if there’s something you want to do, you need to go ahead and do it, because you never know if you’re going to have that chance again.
Just a quick little something. Blogs will be getting long and more in depth over the next few days.
If you’re not able to tell I’m extremely happy that we are about to start the weekend. The only problem is when the weekend ends and we have to report back to work on Monday.
The other bad thing is; the only time I feel inspired is when I’m at work. I guess it’s because there are so many other things I wish I could be doing while I’m there. Like you, there are things I tell myself I’m gonna do when I get off, but it just doesn’t happen. Once I get off I’m singing a different tune. I’m sure it’s because I have to be there and not because I want to be. Not saying I have a had job. It’s not hard at all. I just know I could be doing so much more with my time.
I have recently started engaging in selfcare. Something I never thought too much about until now. I love the things I’m starting to find out about myself. I found out my personality type and also that I am an empath a while ago. Now I’m doing Shadow Work. I’m sure some people may feel like this is a little unorthodox. Trust me, it’s only because of the name, because there’s nothing witchy about it. Truth be told, the only thing I really care about is if it’s going to help me find the pieces of me I lost as a child. I guess we’ll find out.
If you’re interested and want to know more about my journey back to me. Or you already know about Shadow Work and it’s helped you.
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How many people out here are living the life of your dreams?
I really want know if it’s possible. A part of me knows that it is possible. It’s just obstacles come up. Not like they’re big obstacles or anything. They are mainly emotions or fears we all have, that debilitate us to the point of never accomplishing our true GOD given gift.
What I’m praying to learn is how to go throughout life fearlessly accomplishing every goal I’ve ever had for myself.
If you’re someone like me who wants to live freely but don’t know how to, I would say the first step is to get out of your head and stop second guessing yourself.
Inclusion, make sure you’re living life regret free. It’s the best way to experience life (so I’ve heard).
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I am going to remain positive. Sometimes the old way that your body handles conflict rises up and takes hold. Your job is to make sure you correct that way of thinking if it has a negativeimpact on you.
Sometimes you have to take things for what they are and then move on. I understand many of us want to be in control of every interaction and outcome. But you have to know the way a person chooses to react isn’t in your control. It’s a hard pill to swallow, but you have to except it and move on.
It is not your job to make sure the next person is okay with you. It’s your job to make sure you’re okay with yourself before you concern yourself with someone else’s problem with you.
If you find yourself always trying to be in good grace’s with the next person that is a remedy for anxiety, overthinking and discomfort.
Please (for yourself) find other ways to cope with the discomfort that comes with putting you first. Your confidence will sore once you do.
I try to write only when I have something to say. Many times I write based on the way I feel. So far that has gotten me no where. I write this way because it keeps what I have to say relatable, rather than me writing about things I know nothing about. I’m not sure if many people care for blogs like this, but I created this blog to help me through some of the issues I experience and continue to experience.
In many ways this blog has become my medicine. When I first started I thought I was going to be helping others. In actuality you all have been helping me. At first I was a little disappointed that people who read my posts left no response to nearly any of my posts. But the way I felt about that slowly began to change because I’ve learned to appreciate the likes and knowing that someone has read it.
Well let me get back to the reason I chose to write today. As I stated in blogs past I’ve decided to come back and live with my mother, because I can not afford to live by myself at the current moment. I guess you could say I’m a little bit of a hippy because I don’t feel like working is supposed to take up so much of your time. I’m sure I could have been living comfortably if I would have graduated college; but I chose a different route.
Many may think I regret not graduating. To be honest sometimes I do and other times I don’t. Mainly because of the opinions of others. Honestly I never cared about extending my education through a university or college; because I know I’m a person who loves to learn. So whether I went to college or not I knew I would always have an opportunity to learn different things, because I would make sure of it.
Well.. that wasn’t really wanted I wanted to talk about. I wanted to just say that living based on the opinions of others is a recipe for unhappiness. So I have decided that I’m gonna work on the things I find important and forget about other peoples opinions of what I should do. In real time I have focused too much on the opinions of others. I’m gonna get my life back! I have too. What’s the point of having a life if you don’t live it the way you see fit?