Hope everyone is doing well. I have to say, I’m feeling GREAT!!!! There are so many things I want to do. But when is there not so many things I want to do. The great thing about me feeling this way is, it lets me know I’m back to myself. Something I’ve been praying for, for a while.
Now that I’m back to myself I need to make somethings shake. The problem is with me; I want to do so many things, but I don’t know the actions to take to bring them alive. Over the years there have been so many things I’ve started. Things like a soap business with Grade A soap. The only thing I have No clue how to market it. I definitely know how to spend the money to create it though. Then there’s the book I published Loyalty Love Lies & Betrayal. I published that almost 2 years ago, but the sales are nothing to write home about. Then there’s my podcast Elevated Living and my YouTube channel Lulus Lavish Lathers. These two are also things I could be working on to generate money. But to be honest all I really know how to do is start things. I never seem to have the focus or motivation it takes to keep it going. But I have a strong feeling that is going to change. Mainly because I really do not want to work for anyone anymore.
The reason I haven’t made it in any of the things I’ve tried yet is….. FEAR. Fear of being in the forefront. You know how you want to be well of but not famous? That’s me. I want the payoff from it, I just don’t want the attention that comes with it. But the longer I sit with this and let life pass me by it becomes more apparent being in the forefront is exactly what I need to do.
My apologies for the short post. But currently this is the only thing on my mine. If this happens to be something you’re also dealing with, maybe we can figure this road block out together.
Also if you’re having problems with your skin and it’s being unruly, try a bar of Lulu’s Lavish Lathers; the soap that Caters to you. Made with all natural ingredients.
Hope everyone is doing fine…. I was going through trying to figure out what I was going to write about today. There’s so many things that go through my mind, but not all of them can make it to the post. Most recently I was thinking about starting up a couple other things. The only problem with this is making sure I stay consistent. Remaining consistent has always been a struggle for me; No matter what I’m supposed to do. The only time I seem to get things done is when it’s for someone else. That is a habit that must change.
As for the things I want to start doing; YouTube. I started a channel a while ago but stopped making content because I obsess over every aspect of the video, to the point of me not posting one. I’m working on letting that perfectionist go. I tell myself there are many things I plan to do in life, but they never seem to go any further then that. So to correct that I’m working on keeping my word to myself. It may be one of the hardest things I’m gonna have to learn, but it’s something I’m actively working on improving.
One of the other things is getting my Podcast up and running. I tell you; there are so many was out here to make money, you just have to be open to the possibilities of what may happen once you let go. This is something I constantly have to remind myself of, because I always contain my real self. I do this for fear of not being accepted.
The bad thing about always silencing or containing your true reactions and emotions; you start to loose yourself. I know this from experience, because I don’t know if the person I am in everyday life is the person I am when I’m alone. The person I am when I’m alone is someone completely different. Hell… the people I create in my stories are a lot more exciting then I am.
I think I learned how to permanently silence and hide myself once I was taught to care what other people think. The hard part now is to unlearn that behavior. The only thing I want to do is be the person I would have been without the years and years of indoctrination. The great thing is; at least I understand unlearning and not doing what’s expected of me will bring me closer to who I’m supposed to be.
I know that deep down, under all these insecurities I am a free spirited, open, loving, kind, generous soul who does what she wants without the nagging voice saying; Don’t be too different. You run the risk of being rejecting when you’re not digestible. Even though I know this isn’t true, it’s still something that keeps me from showing the world who I truly am.
If you took the time to read this blog in its entirety; Thank you!
Would like to tip the writer CashApp: $ShadsShortStories
I know there’s a lot going on in the world. But through it all, I hope you manage to find a way to smile. Granted it’s very easy to lose sight of the great things that happen everyday. For what ever reason, it seems like the bad always overshadows the good. For some of us that’s because we’re wired to expect bad things and others are dealt a sunshine and rainbows hand.
Circumstance a lot of the time can make or break a person’s take on life. That’s why someone that seemed to be so happy go lucky changes and becomes a “Debby Downer” sometime. But positivity is also something you have to work on daily, so you can help your mind to rewire itself. After time you won’t have to consciously remind yourself to be positive, you just will.
That’s why whenever I feel like I’m being stuffed in a box, I have to find a way out. Just incase you hadn’t realized, having control over your finances almost guarantees you to have more control over your life. Why do you think there are so many people these days starting up companies and finding ways to work independently?
Although for some, this would be too large of a step; and that’s okay. For a longtime I knew I wanted to have the type of control that came with running my own business. I can’t tell you how many ideas I’ve had over the years. A lot of them didn’t see the light of day. But for the ones that have, some of you have bore witness to them.
The first thing was this blog. I have to be honest, after 3 years this is still just a hobby (Something you like to do but your loss is greater than your gain.)… Then I decided to write my first book Loyalty, Lies, and Betrayal. I’m sure it would have sold better if I put some money in the advertising. For the ones who have read it, I’m told all the time how good the book is. I really cherish that…. Then I started YouTube. I’m not saying I’m done with it, I’m just extremely shy so it takes a lot for me to get on camera and talk about anything. Then there was my Podcast. I started it, but I realized it’s good to have a co-host because the commentary doesn’t have the chance to get boring. Now, I’m 150% focused on selling all natural handmade soap. This was one of the biggest investments I’ve ever made.
I’m not giving up on the things I’ve started before making soap. God willing, I’ll one day master them all. I just have to stop letting myself get in my own way. I hate to say it, but I’m sure some of you are probably going through the same thing i.e Not knowing when to get out of your own way.
For this company I’ve started, I’ve grown overwhelming passionate for it. I will do everything possible to help educate more of us on the health and the importance of having healthy skin. As I say on my store’s Website LuLusLavishLathers.com:
I started making soap when I realized a lot of soap isn’t made from natural resources. I found that out when I started digging more into the health world, hoping to find better ways of being healthy. So as a result of wanting to be healthy I started going to Wholefoods and bought natural soap. Mind you, this was the very first time I had been introduced to a soap that not only cleanses, but feeds your skin in the process. I wanted to recreate something like that; and the great thing now is, I can.
Come and try a bar. Every soap is made with natural and organic ingredients. Many are made with essential oil, such as peppermint, patchouli, chamomile, cedarwood, tea tree, eucalyptus, and a long list of other essential oils. The important thing with using these type of oils to add fragrance to the soap is; it also adds a long list of benefits.
Many of us don’t know this, but if you’re allergic to something many times that’s because of a blockage in the body. Do you know why many blockages start? Because of feeding ourselves things that were never made for the body to intake in the first place.
I apologize for the inconsistencies. I’ve been trying to put myself on a schedule; still working on it. Also for the men who read my blog, I apologize in advance. I mean nothing personal. As always these blogs are a way to track my past present and future. Now that I’ve said that, lets get into the s**** and giggles.
First off, I hope everyone is doing well and enjoying their much needed time off from work. I’m sure there are a lot of us out here who don’t feel that way. But let’s face it, we really did need a little bit of a breather. Who knew it was going to last this long though; not I.
Well let’s do the damn thing!!!
Well as most of you all who read my blogs know, I have an EX. I try not to let him be the center of my day; but damn; how can I not?! His ass is always home! I have to admit I’m a little relaxed right now. I needed something for the amount of hate I feel towards him.
I thought I could hang in there for a year I figured it was just a year and I could deal with the bulls*** until it was time to say “hasta la vesta!” But the closer it gets to the expiration of this lease, I’m becoming more and more bitter. The thing that bothers me the most is, “Who’s fault was this break up?” I’m sure a lot of you’ll probably say that it doesn’t always have to be someone’s fault. I know that’s true. But….. I’ve NEVER BEEN BROKEN UP WITH before! I guess that’s the thing that really through me for a loop. Every other time I’ve been the one to call it quits first.
Aside from that though, I knew this thing was coming to an end. There were so many signs. For one, we’re too much alike. Sometimes that can be a good thing; in this case it wasn’t. I have to be honest though; I’m happy in a weird way that this all will be over, soon.
If you know my pain and have gone through anything similar, please make sure to leave a comment below. It would be nice to know how you managed to get over the pain.
I hope everyone is happy and living their best life, despite the state of the world. Don’t let that get you down. There are reasons to be in your feelings and unhappy, but look past those things and be happy for the things you still have; breath in your body for one.
Today wanted to do something a little different, I created a video on YouTube. If this goes well I think posts like this will become a regular thing.
But just to give you a little insight on the video you’re about to view, it’s for women who haven’t learned to value themselves; constantly looking for validation from the person their with or others around them.
I thought I knew you. Looking back, I realize that was a silly assumption on my part.
You see, there are people who hide who they truly are. Then later on, that monster takes over the person you thought you knew. Things you once loved slowly turn into things you can’t stand. All because that monster picked it’s ugly head out. It seems nothing makes it happier than to catch you off guard. Once that happens, it make you feel uncomfortable and seemingly unwanted.
Once that happens there’s no reason to stay, or try to work things out. Unless you want to spend your days convincing someone who isn’t even on your level to love you and choose you. I don’t know about you… but I have way more life to live. I don’t have time, nor the energy or patience to cater to someone else’s insecurities.
KNOWING WHEN TO WALK AWAY
Years ago I remember watching a YouTube video. At the time I didn’t take it too seriously because it was meant to be a joke, but in all honesty that video carried a lot of weight. I didn’t know it at the time, but I was suppose to heed that message.
The video was one warning women of what types of men to stay away from. The one closest to mine was the guy that was overly controlling and untrusting. I hadn’t realized it yet, but the longer we dated the more and more controlling and untrusting he became. In the beginning I believed it to be a sweet quality, because I never had someone care about my whereabouts & safety before; know one but my family. So naturally I basked in the attention. It wasn’t until much later I realized it was more about control than actual care.
Like they say you live and you learn. I have to say, I’ve learned plenty from this relationship. It taught me a very valuable lesson. Which is; “Never alter yourself to meet anyone else’s requirements, but your own.” It never works in the end if you do.
If you enjoyed this post, please make sure to like, share, comment, and follow this blog for many more life and advice post.
As I said in the video, there are so many young girls who want a boyfriend so bad, they’ll put their selves through torture just to say they have someone. That is a very bad practice to have. The only validation need is self validation. Once you really begin to appreciate yourself and everything that comes with being you, you start to realize how truly special you are.
Side Note: I know…. I don’t say things that are going to shock you and make you want to listen to me further. The reason for that is, I’ve never been someone who needed to hurt your feelings or trick you in to taking my advice. It’s either you do or you don’t. But I hope you do, because there is a better life out there waiting for you, once you realize how much you deserve it.
For those of you who continuously check in, I am so grateful to you. Without you this site would be nothing. Also I know consistency is key. I’m really trying to work on that. But there’s something I need you to do for me; drop me a line, stating what kinds of things you would like to see on this blog. I understand I’m the administer, but this blog will not grow with out your input. So please, comment away. Also if you enjoyed the video above, make sure to like and subscribe, because I’ll be posting much more frequently on my YouTube page.
There are people who come into your life who make you feel like they’re the best thing since sliced bread. Then when you get to know them you start to think it’s more like sour milk.
I’m sure if you’ve been in more than one relationship, you’ve noticed people can be cruel. That’s something I have tried to refuse to believe, but the longer I’m on this earth I realize that it’s not something I can ignore.
What I’ve come to realize is there are going to be people who show you that they can “act” one way, but after your guard is down that’s when they begin to show you who they truly are. I swear it seems like I’ve come across every type of asshole there is! I guess you gotta kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince.
Please don’t feel like what I’m saying is bashing anyone in any way. I just really wanted to talk about what’s going on with me. I don’t know if you know; but I use this site as a diary. Somewhere I can jot down the way I’m feeling or what I’m going through at the current time. In many ways this blog has been my life saver, and I’m so grateful for it. There are people out here who don’t know how to express what they’re going through. That’s why I’m so grateful to places like WordPress, YouTube, and Snapchat for providing places people can express themselves. There are times you just don’t know what to do. Then there are times you know what to do, but you’re not trying to get landed in jail (Lol). Sometimes those emotions hit you so hard that’s all you wanna do is act on them. Then you remember, “Damn! I can’t do that…. I’m not trying to be Big Bertha’s b****”. Seriously though, if you have someone in your life that is bringing you to that negative head space, you’re going to have to try to find a way to get away from that person; because their negative energy is going to continue to put you in a funk. I don’t know about you; but I’m not trying to be sucking up those toxic vibes.
I really wanted to motivate you this morning. We’re more than halfway through the week!….
Isn’t that a beautiful thing?
Your weekend is almost here.
As I’m sure you may know by now, my whole purpose for this site is to mainly provide a place you could get some morning inspiration and other times, get to know me.
Today is no different. Below is a video I hope will inspire you to make that change and do that thing you want to do for the rest of your life. Most people don’t realize changing your life is as simple as changing your habits. You may not feel like 20 or even 30 minutes a day is enough time to start something that will financially propel you in to freedom; but anytime spent is time well worth the effort.
I’m sure will inspire you to make that change. Don’t worry. It’s a very short video. Just that little push you may need for the day, to get you going.