Is It Enough?

Is faithfulness enough to keep a relationship going?

Well that’s something I find myself asking a lot these days. For a long time I thought loyalty and being faithful was everything. But now I’m starting to see that it isn’t. Although it’s a deal breaker for me, it doesn’t seem to be so for a lot of other people out there. It should. I’m a firm believer in, “Everyone deserves the right to have someone that is completely devoted to them”. Although so many men and some women like to believe we weren’t made to be pairs, I think we were. Take for example, when a woman gets pregnant, there’s only one egg and one sperm that come together to make a baby. There’s not billions of sperm and eggs working together in unison. Although there are billions of sperm fighting to get to the egg, it’s not the same scenario when it comes to the egg. There’s only one, and because there is only one egg there is only one sperm that can penetrate that egg for the chance to create life. That’s just one example of why I think everyone has another half, although some people may not believe in the other half theory, there are others that do. From my experience, most romantics believe in the other half theory. Then you have others that believe we were put here to experience life and procreate, just not with one designated person. Although that is a very free spirited way of looking at it, that’s not the way everyone views life and love.

Secondly, Faithfulness and loyalty are great traits to have, but that can’t be the only thing you bring to the table. I wish that more women and men would make that a requirement when it comes to being in a relationship. There are a lot of people these days that feel open relationships are the way to go. For some people that may work. I actually could understand why someone would want to be in a open relationship. There’s a lot of good that could come from them if you think about it. But one thing’s for sure, if your a jealous person *Do Not*, I repeat *DO NOT* engage in an open relationship. Reason being, your feelings are going to get hurt. For those women and men who enter a open relationship believing that it’s all about having fun or you think you could change his or her mind because, “They’re just going through a faze.” I hate to break it to you, most likely it’s not a faze. That’s the way they’re choosing to live until they find someone they’re willing to change for. Other times that’s just who they are. The one thing you have to always keep in mind is, “Is this what I want or is it what they want?” Many people do things for the other person, not taking in to account their own feelings. I understand it might be a little hard to consider both of you all’s feelings. It’s important to remember, most monogamous relationships don’t serve both people at the same time. If yours does, you’re blessed.

But the thing I want to focus on is monogamy, because women and some men will deal with an unhealthy relationship just because the person has not cheated on them, or so they think. I know so many women that have been with men for years that do nothing for them, but stay with them because of faithfulness. I say, “If the love isn’t there and you’re miserable, Why stay?” That’s a question more people need to be asking their self. I would think it would be better to be alone then to be with someone you can’t enjoy life with. But I’m pretty sure I know the answer to that question, many people are not comfortable with the thought of being alone. Sometimes they aren’t comfortable with it because they don’t have the confidence it takes to be secure enough to stand alone. This could be because of a number of reasons. It could be, they have low self worth because of body image or being constantly degraded by someone they love dearly. The possibilities are endless. When that happens and you find yourself in either a negative head space or relationship, you need to distance yourself away from that person. If it’s negative thoughts then you need to be around people that are going to make you feel good about yourself. Also work on loving you for who you are, rather than what you think people want you to be.

That’s what’s wrong with a lot of us today. We worrying more about what the next person is going to say about our relationship more than worrying about our own happiness. I feel that’s why a lot of us are in relationships with people we really don’t want to be with. Either because we don’t want the next person to have them, they have money, they have great business connections, fear of being alone and what others are going to say, fear of passing through too many men (that one’s for the women), or fear of failing. What ever the case, it all equates to fear of being judged by people on the outside looking in. What you need to keep in mind is, those people only get a glimpse of what your life is like with that person. They’re not in the relationship with you all. So there’s no way they could possibly tell you what is best for you, only you know that. So stop being afraid to live, love and enjoy life. Even if it’s not with the man or woman everyone expects or hopes you end up with. After all it is your life.