Experiences · Feelings · Short stories · story telling

Am I Worthy?……

Of Course I am.

What’s up everyone?

 

Hope your day is going well.

 

I apologize if my recent blogs seem to be  putting men in a negative light. All I want to say is; If you don’t have that negative view on men, please don’t develop one now because of me.

I guess you could say I’m a feminist. I believe the only reason I became this way is do to my experiences with men. I’m just gonna say a lot of them were not good interactions. But I don’t want you to feel sorry for me, because life could have been a lot worse. I’m just lucky I have plenty of strong women around me who have taught me to be the ambitious, strong, independent woman I am.

There are many times I don’t realize just how strong I am. Also I know I have a one sided view because there aren’t many males that I speak to. So most likely I don’t know how the typical male thinks unless I’m dating him. Even then I fall flat some times.

For those of you though who have great relationships with the men in your lives’; please don’t let anything disrupt that. It’s not an easy thing for a man and a woman to remain on the same page. That’s one reason I think its always been said, men and woman can’t be friends; Cause if we don’t have sex in common; What is there?  Before I used to feel that way, not anymore. There are many men out here that are just fine with being a woman’s friend. But…. overtime attraction arises and either the woman or man begins to like the other. This is do to time spent, and putting in the energy to get to know the other person. There are other factors, but those are some of the main ones.

If you are in a loving caring committed relationship; more power to you. Cause from what I’ve seen they don’t come easy. That’s why I’m gonna give myself the time to be free and spread my wings. I’m sure my luck will change, but I’m in no hurry to find Mr. Right. I’ve finally come to a point in life where I feel like being single. After all, being with someone has gotten me nothing but heartache, pain and an overwhelming feeling of suffocation. 

I know someone good is out there, but forgive me for not wanting to find him; not yet that is. And for all of you who’re saying; ” He’s gonna be someone else’s Mr. Right because you takin to long.” Keep on saying it, because that isn’t gonna rush anything over here. Only God knows when that special man will come into my life and when the time is right. I know he will move heaven and earth if need be to get me to see that, that man is for me because only he can. So don’t worry about me because I know ho’s got my back.

 

Question of the day: Does a woman’s worth diminish because she’s unattached? How about if she’s childless? 

Asking for a friend.

 

 

 

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If you want a book that’s going to keep you entertained from start to finish, Checkout Loyalty, Love, Lies & Betrayal By: Shadrieka Franks on Amazon.

 

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As Always 

story telling · Thoughts

To marry or not to marry; that is the question

Question of the day: If married is it the other half’s  responsibility to pay the other’s child support?

  I know that question might come out of left field for some of you, but there’s a lot of people these days getting married to folks who have not paid their child support ever; or if they have aren’t paying what the parent who has custody feels they should pay. This post is going to hit home for a lot of people.

Recently I came across a post on Derrick Jaxn’s page. The post read a little thirsty. It was stating a Baby’s Mother dilemma of whether she should try to get more money out of the Baby’s Father; all because his wife makes close to $1 million a year. At the time he was already providing her with $900 a month. That amount was determined before she found out the wife made close to a million a year.

Some Wives Are “Pissed” That Coronavirus Stimulus Checks Were ...I don’t know about you, but to me she seemed a little greedy. Also how is it okay to dig in the Wife’s pocket because you’re struggling? I don’t mean to sound insensitive, but you’re taking money away from her babies. Not even that, she worked hard for what she has and that was (I’m guessing) before her and the Baby’s Father got together.

In no way do I want to tear anyone down. I just feel that relationships or situationships shouldn’t lap over into one another. So… if the child is being taken care of and the father or mother is doing all they can on their end, there’s nothing for the other to be complaining about. That’s my 2 cents.

I know everyone is not going to agree with this, but that’s just how I feel on the matter. I know cause a friend of mine who is the mother of 2 beautiful girls (My Goddaughters)  doesn’t feel there’s anything wrong with what the mother is trying to do. She feels it’s both of their responsibility; meaning the Wife and Baby’s Father to provide for the child outside of their marriage.

Her reason for thinking this way seems to be strictly based off of what she’s gone through being a single mother. I understand where she’s coming from. But why should responsibilities he had before become mine?

If you’ve enjoyed this post and want to read more posts like this one, make sure to Like, Comment, Share, & Follow.

Need soap? Want a soap that’s going to keep your skin hydrated and supple? Go on over to SoapsbyShad.Etsy.com
&
If you want a book that’s going to keep you entertained from start to finish, Checkout Loyalty, Love, Lies & Betrayal By: Shadrieka Franks on Amazon.

As Always 

Photos Provided By: celebgossiptoday.com 

empowering · Experiences · Feelings · health · Informative · motivational · Short stories · story telling · Thoughts

Adulting

Healthy is a life style….

 

The first thing a lot of people think of when I say ‘Healthy is a lifestyle’ is their food intake. Although that is one aspect of healthy living it isn’t the only one. Healthy living consists of having great influential people in your life, positive thinking, being excited to live another day because you operate from a place of gratefulness and humility. Also making sure to take time for yourself is a must. Many times we have forgotten to take time for ourselves because we become so concerned with making sure the next person is okay. But how can you take care of someone else if you’re not?

Recently I’ve been thinking, ‘I would love to be a child again’. Reason being, this adulting thing is not what I thought it was going to be. I thought when you became an adult things get easier; but they actually get harder. Just think about it; when you were a child you woke up didn’t have a real worry because most times it was your parents doing all the  worrying. It was their responsibility to take care of you. So many times your day would be pretty easy. I know everyone did not have an easy up bringing. For the ones who did, you know exactly what I’m taking about.

Now you’re an adult and it’s like you’re stumbling and you can’t gain your footing to save your life. Most days are met with anguish and frustration because you have no choice but to do things you’re uncomfortable with to make life a little more bearable. Just incase you’re not following, here’s an example.

Paula is a friend, lover, and mentor. Even with being all these things she still hasn’t managed to find happiness. Sure she feels moments of happiness, but she hasn’t managed to recreate that feeling of happiness for herself. Many times she finds herself going through bouts of depression and anxiety. 

She later on realized her depression is caused by her financial situation. You see, Paula was very hard working. Truth be told this woman gave her all to her job, no matter what type of job it was. She stayed late, went above and beyond in every way, for others. Did not do the same when it came to herself though. It seemed she always got the short end of the stick, because people would love the work she did but it never reflected in her finances.

So one day Paula finally came to the realization she no longer wanted to work for others. She figured if she was going to be slaving for anyone it was going to be for herself. So she decided to start a pet grooming business. Besides, she always loved animals and knew she wouldn’t mind having them around her, because they brought love and peace. 

Months went by, and finally that dark feeling of depression stopped looming  over her. Finally she knew what it felt like to be internally happy. 

 

For some of us this may not be the case. You may be extremely happy with your financial situation. But my question is, “Are you happy with every area of your life?” If the answer is ‘No’ you got some work to do. 

 

Nothing is impossible. Every vision was given to you for a reason. What you do with it though is up to you.

 

If you’ve enjoyed this post, make sure to LIKE, COMMENT, SHARE & FOLLOW. You never know this maybe the very thing someone needs to take that next huge step in their life. So make sure to SHARE.

Also if you have the time right now, go check out Loyalty Love Lies & Betrayal. My first published book.

And it’s juicy yawl

 

 

Cover Photo Provided By: https://medium.com/@mwambamalama/cancel-adulting-6691b0f79846

Experiences · Feelings · relationship · Short stories · story telling · Thoughts · Venting

The story of Us

We had been fighting for months. Me trying to make things right, him pulling away. It seemed that this cycle was never going to end. All I wanted is for things to go back to the way they use to be; but I knew they wouldn’t because he didn’t want them to. Part of me thought he was loosing his mind, because he always seemed to pick a fight over the smallest things. It got so bad till there was nothing I could do without worrying how he was going to react.

Now I was a woman who was unknowingly attached to a man who no longer wanted her. The pain of that realization crippled me every time it crossed my mind. Months prior he made me aware he no longer wanted to be with me. Said I wouldn’t understand and that he didn’t want to go into detail because it would make me cry.

So at this current time I’m here hurting; contemplating if I will ever let myself be this vulnerable again. Days pass, not a word has been uttered between the two of us since he delivered that cruel blow. Sometimes I think he says the things he says to get a reaction. Then when I do react, he tries to minimize it.

“Hey Frtitz, what’s up man? How you doing?”

He was on the phone with a friend. Something he hardly ever did while we were together, but since our split his been way more talkative and more active. Every time I hear him come into a room it instantly makes me uncomfortable, stirs up anger and confusion.

All these feeling are do to never having the chance to express how I truly felt. I know and have known for a while that he is not and was not the man for me. The longer we were together the more he proved that to me. We just didn’t have the same interest. I was interested in a life partner, and it has been made clear to me he wanted someone for the moment.

They say it’s a good idea to sit down and talk. Talk about the things you expect from that relationship. Rather than do what I did, and just go with the flow. Sometimes going with the flow works, but hardly ever when building with someone else is concerned. A valuable lesson I’ve been taught repeatedly, but never learned until now.

Now that I’m getting older there’s no time for the bulls***. For the first time all attention is going to be on me. Who knows, I may do some traveling or do something crazy; something that’s going to make me feel alive. It’s about time I concern myself with the betterment of me. Get to know and love me; a concept I took in to consideration but never acted on.

My Sad Truth

Short stories · story telling

One Night of Sin

Damn, pickings slim. I should’ve never let Rene talk me into coming to this whole in the wall club in the first place. All I want is a tune up; and I’m not about to bag an ugly dude. All though ugly dudes do tend to give the best dick. Hmmm….

Nah, I think I want to have some fun tonight. Damn! Baby girl looking kinda good over there.

“Ang what you wanna do?”

“I don’t know about you, but I need a release in the worst way.”

“Damn, girl! It’s only been 2 months.”

“Nah, it’s been five.”

“Ohhh.. I’m sorry!… But didn’t you just break up with ol’ dude a little over 2 months ago?”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean we were having sex in the months before the breakup. Shit, before I moved out we hadn’t been talking for at least two of those months. So you know we weren’t f****ng.”

“Well, you don’t have to talk to get some.”

“Says who?!”

“S***, you think I talk to Jayson every time I want some?”

“For real, girl?… What you do?”

“If I want it, I take it. Simple as that. Technically it’s mine anyway, it’s just attached to his body.”

“How you figure that?”

“Ah.. Excuse me.”

Angela hadn’t seen him when he entered, but she was happy he saw her.”

“Ahh…. Yes.” She said acting as if she was annoyed, but in reality she was pleasantly surprised to see him in front of her.

Him not taking kindly to her tone, contemplated leaving her where she stood, without another word.

“Oh, sorry to bother you.” With those words he turned to walk away. He hadn’t made it an inch before she caught his arm.

Something I’m working on. Thought?

empowering · Experiences · Feelings · health · Informative · motivational · relationship · self-esteem · Short stories · story telling · Thoughts

Change is gonna come

 

Image result for beautiful couple black

 

“I love you! Don’t you get that?!”

Kayla was once again professing her love to Donovan. Something she did almost everyday. She loved him, but something wouldn’t let him except, let alone believe she could really love him.

Past relationships, broke his heart beyond repair. So now that he had someone who was really there for him and would never dare think of hurting him in anyway; he could not and would not believe it.

“Kayla I love you too. But you’re going to have to give me some time. Being with you has been like a dream. I have to be honest though; you are my dream girl in everyway…. except….”

Kayla had issues herself. She often found herself falling in love with men who were emotionally unavailable or extremely mentally and emotionally abusive. So far Donovan hadn’t seemed like he was either of the two. But they had only been together for 5 months.

Things with him had been so perfect, she was literally waiting for the other shoe to drop. She hoped it never would, but deep down she knew otherwise.

“Except what?!.. Spit it out!”

“Baby you know I love you?”

“Yeah… Just say it!”

“Baby…. you gotta work on your body.”

“What’s wrong with my body?! You always claimed you loved it before.”

True he had always seemed to be in love with every inch of her. But now that he had become comfortable with her and realized her loyalty; that’s when he knew it was a good time to dig his claws in.


1 YEAR LATER…..

“You changed. You aren’t the woman I thought I knew!”

Kayla hadn’t realized it, but she allowed herself to get lost in Donovan’s madness. In the beginning things were ideal. She loved and trusted him; he could do no wrong. She hadn’t realized it, but slowly she had become his chameleon. She learned how to bend and blend into the small pockets of space he allowed her.

By this time she learned all his likes and dislikes. There was very little she could say and do that wouldn’t upset or trigger a negative reaction.

The more time passed, the angrier and more detached he became. Things like random arguments about trivial things were common place. Right a long with Donovan taking multiple shots at Kayla’s self-esteem; through name calling, mostly pertaining to her weight. 

By this time Kayla had grown tired of his disrespectful underhanded antics. She wanted so badly to leave, but feared being a lone and loosing her independence.

How many of you are stuck in a situation that is unbearable? But you stay anyway because of your resistance to change or you believe the discomfort is only temporary and will eventually dissipate.

If that is the case, I’m sorry to tell you; you need to get more uncomfortable or even give up. In order for you to move through that or this dark time in your life to make it to the light.  

No one situation stays the same. 

Change will come….

 

If you let it.

If you enjoyed this post, check out my recently published book

 

 

As Always

Photo Provided By: Twitter

relationship · Short stories · story telling

Passion-Africa here we come!

“Now you wanna have some type of control over somebody!… I gave you the chance to lead. You didn’t want to. So now I’ve learned the strength is in leading myself; since I can’t trust you to do it!”

“That’s unfair!… When we got married we both were in our early twenties. I didn’t know anything about being the head of any ones household. I was learning and so were you.”

“I understand that and I knew that at the time. But when you said you wanted to entertain other women, it broke my heart! You don’t understand I would have done anything for you! But once you crossed that lined, the game completely changed.”

“If you didn’t want to go through with it, we didn’t have to.” This was the first time Kevall had taken the time to really listen to what his wife wanted; partly because he was afraid of loosing her. He knew this polyamory thing was going to come and bite him right in the ass one day. He just hoped this wouldn’t be the day.

“You say that now. But how many times had I told you I wanted you and only you, and that I didn’t need nor wanted anyone else?”

“A lot.”

That was me saying, ‘I don’t want to go through with this polyamory thing’.”

“Why didn’t you just come out and plainly say it?!”

“Hold up! Don’t get mad at me because you wanted to soil your royal oats. All of this I your fault.

SHOULD THIS BE A BOOK?

COMMENT ‘YES’ OR ‘NO’. 

If you’d like to start from the beginning here are links to other posts of PASSION

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

 

ALSO CHECKOUT LOYALTY; LOVE, LIES & BETRAYAL

 

 

                                                               

 

   

empowering · Experiences · Feelings · health · Informative · motivational · relationship · self-esteem · story telling · Thoughts

Mirror

Have you ever spent most of your life being someone’s other half?

If so, why did you feel it was important to be linked to someone in that romantic way?

Are you still with them?

Does always being in a relationship mean you’re codependent?

If given the situation, could you walk away from an unhealthy relationship that isn’t serving you, to take the time needed to better yourself?

Does being attached to someone make you feel complete?

If you’ve answered ‘YES’ to most of these questions, most likely you are a codependent. What that means is you need the attention and affection of others to feel at ease and that you belong. For a long time I was also a codependent. It wasn’t until I got a lot older and started researching the term when I found out it was not such a good thing. One thing I’ve leaned is, it’s always better to make sure you’re covered before you take care of anyone else. Always remember people are people and that no one is perfect. So if you’re with someone you love right now; you maybe even picture yourself getting married to them. Make sure you have all your ducks in a row just incase he or she does not feel the same way.

I understand it may be a depressing thought, but it’s real, and that is what life is. You can’t be blind to the possibility of things between you and them not working out. Like my Momma always told me, “You shouldn’t put all your eggs in one basket”. The sad thing is a lot of people know this saying, but choose to interpret it in a disloyal way; by cheating. Not having all your eggs in one basket doesn’t have to mean that, it could also be becoming a boss about this money game. Or having strong long lasting connections with others; so you don’t lose yourself if something like a breakup was to happen.

Long story short, people are people. It’s your responsibility to either learn from the situations or let the overwhelming emotions of disappointment and hurt take over. But you would do much better learning how to use those emotions to better you. Use those negative feelings as fuel. Also, keep in mind another person can not complete you. You have to have done that for yourself. Truth be told, when you have a strong sense of who you are, what you like or don’t like, and what you would deal with or wouldn’t deal with; it makes it easier to choose someone who reflects what you feel for yourself. So if you’re broken, more than likely the man or woman you choose is going to be broken. There are very rare occasions where a broken person marries or dates someone who’s confident in who they are; but many times it doesn’t last if that broken person doesn’t find a way to mend their brokenness.

Inconclusion, our relationships are mirrors; what you see or feel about yourself always seems to show in the type of person you date.

Please make sure to LIKE, COMMENT, SHARE & FOLLOW to always stay in the mix.

Love yawl to pieces!!!

Photo and Video Provided By: YouTube.com, https://www.azquotes.com

Short stories · story telling

Passion-Problems

My sincerest apologizes if you’ve been waiting for this part of the story. He it goes…

“Kevall, I’m gonna need you to hold down the office for me for a couple of days.”

“Why? Where you going?”

Passion looked at him questionably because she had gone on hundreds of trips over the years and he had never taken a real interest in where she went. So this was a little off putting to her.

“Why all of a sudden you care?”

“I’ve always cared. I just never said anything. I didn’t believe it was my place to ask because we were polyamorous at the time.”

“That hasn’t changed.”

“Well.. why not?!” Kevall wanted so badly for her to realize she hadn’t needed attention from other men, because he planed to make up for all the years he wasted without trying to get to know his wife. The question still was ” Was he too late? “I thought we were working on us?”

“Kevall I know you would love me to be that very agreeable Passion, you met so many years ago; but things have changed… I really love living and being this way. It makes me feel so free and sexually fluid. Something I didn’t welcome at first, but as time went on I began to appreciate.”

“Why can’t you appreciate it with me?”

“I do. I just don’t want your dick to be the only one I get to hop on from time to time. I need and crave other options. Hell.. sometimes I don’t want dick; I want a vagina. So you see, I’ve become so comfortable with our setup, that I’m not just able to break away from that way of life so easily.”

“That still hasn’t answered the question.”

“Which is?…”

“Where are you going?!” By this point, Kevall was frustrated because of his fear of loosing Passion.

“South Africa.”

“With who?” He hadn’t felt the pang of jealousy in years. Even though he had never really been the jealous type, for some reason his feelings toward his wife started to intensify.

“Shonda.”

“When?”

This weekend.”

“Have you booked the flight yet?”

“No.”

“Good.”

“Why is that ‘Good’?”

“Because, you’re not going.”

“What the F*** you mean, ‘I’m not going’?”

“Just what I said.”

She was put off by his sudden need to become a take change type of guy. She wasn’t use to that at all, where it concerned him.

“From my recollection, you’re my husband; not my father!”

“I don’t have to be your father in order to demand that from you.”

“Oh, yes the hell you do! Especially if you expect me to do it!”

“Passion, what happened to honoring your husband?”

“Oh now you wanna play that game.” Passion hadn’t believed how much had changed with in the span of a couple days. Just last week he was piping some girl down in the car outside of their house. She was a little mad about it, but had not said anything because she had also done that a time or two; Kevall just never caught her.

Make sure to checkout my recently published book…

 

If you’re enjoying this story, please make sure to LIKE, COMMENT, SHARE and FOLLOW.

 

As Always….

 

Experiences · Feelings · motivational · Rant · relationship · self-esteem · Short stories · story telling

Experience is the best teacher

As I said in the video, there are so many young girls who want a boyfriend so bad, they’ll put their selves through torture just to say they have someone. That is a very bad practice to have. The only validation need is self validation. Once you really begin to appreciate yourself and everything that comes with being you, you start to realize how truly special you are.

Side Note: I know…. I don’t say things that are going to shock you and make you want to listen to me further. The reason for that is, I’ve never been someone who needed to hurt your feelings or trick you in to taking my advice. It’s either you do or you don’t. But I hope you do, because there is a better life out there waiting for you, once you realize how much you deserve it.

For those of you who continuously check in,  I am so grateful to you. Without you this site would be nothing. Also I know consistency is key. I’m really trying to work on that. But there’s something I need you to do for me; drop me a line, stating what kinds of things you would like to see on this blog. I understand I’m the administer, but this blog will not grow with out your input. So please, comment away. Also if you enjoyed the video above, make sure to like and subscribe, because I’ll be posting much more frequently on my YouTube page.

Thank you all so much for the support. As always