Todays post is going to be about being comfortable in your own space.
Recently I was watching a show, I believe it’s called family reunion. Well anyway, this episode was about being happy with who you are. I believe there are a lot of us who aren’t completely happy with who we are. We’re always trying to get better, and there’s nothing wrong with that, but you have to appreciate who you are because who you are is what’s allowing you to think bigger and expound on your personal development.
There have and are still many times I have to remind myself of this same thing. If you’re not careful wanting to alter who you are can become an obsession, that has the ability to lead to a state of depression. That’s if you don’t do anything about it.
That’s one of the main reason we are told to make small changes to achieve our goals, no matter what that goal is. What’s going to happen if you change your habits to fast, it’s going to start to feel forced and unmotivating. Then you’re going to become frustrated because the changes aren’t happening fast enough. So take your time and it will happen eventually.
5 Tips to change your habits for the better
Start slow– This is not a race. The quicker you make the process, the faster you fail.
Consistency– In order for there to be any change, you’re going to have to be consistent and intentional about your change for the better.
Focus– This is needed to make any kind of change. You loose focus, you loose your motivation. To avoid this from happening take time out of every day to focus on why that one thing is important to you. This will motivate you to keep going.
Set Goals & milestones– This will help you to stay motivated for the long run. And other than just feeling good about your accomplishments, you’ll be proud of yourself because you manage to stick with it.
Rewards– This gives you an incentive to accomplish your goals other than the end result. Being rewarded for doing something has always made the task at hand a little easier, because you knew you were getting something for your hard work. It’s one of the biggest motivators.
If there is something you want to do, but you’re like me (easily unmotivated) you have to find a system that works. This is one I believe will. I’m gonna try it out and let you know what happened. I suggest you try it also. I would love to know what happened.
This post may contain affiliate links. For more info see Disclaimer.
If I ask you a few questions will you answer them honestly?
Okay, here goes……
If you could picture the best year of your life, what would it look like? (Question from Millionaire Habits by Dean Graziosi) You could answer on here or on your own; there’s no pressure. These questions are really for you. Something to help you gain a clear perspective of what you want out of life.
If you didn’t have financial pressure in your day to day life, would you still go to work? Why or why not?
Do you see yourself as a boss or a worker?
If you chose boss, What would your business be?
If you much rather be a worker. Why?
When it comes to finances; would you rather be stable or free?
Are you willing to put in the work to get where you want to be?
I’m not going to bog you down with a lot of questions. I just want you to think of the ultimate goal for your life, and what it looks like to you. Reason why; it’s great practice to get focused on what’s most important to you. Also to put life in perspective. Many of us live, but have no real concept of time or life. So when we get old and feeble we never realize where the time went because we don’t have a clear vision of where we want to be or should be.
Take time to think about these questions. If you don’t get hyped about your life, somethings wrong and needs to change. It doesn’t have to be immediately, but eventually that comfortable life is going to have to get a little rocky for you to start living the life of your dreams.
I’ve just started reading this book. I can’t say it’s the best book I’ve ever read, yet. I’m not sure if it’s the hype I experienced before getting the book; but so far it’s proving to be an excellent read (I’m only on Chapter 2).
If you would like a copy, here’s a link to Amazon where you can get your own. Once you read it, come back and share what you thought was most valuable about the information given. If you don’t I surely will.
You know how you want to write sometimes and you aren’t inspired to do so? That’s me right now. I wish I had something I wanted to talk about, but I’m not inspired by many things these days. The only thing that continues to inspire me is the hate that I have for a 9 to 5 job life. That’s one thing that I hate and have always hated, because I like to work on my own time. And you can’t do that when you’re employed by some company that decides when you come to work and when you are done and can leave. It’s like as long as you get paid for punching in and out of their clock, they own you.
If you think the way I do, this can lead to health problems; such as anxiety, high blood pressure, stress, and depression. Reason being, you know that you can do so much more with your time, but you have to work in order to pay your bills. That is the misfortune of being a dreamer. People who are dreamers/ entrepreneurs have so many ideas that go through their head in one day, that when it comes to working for an hourly wage it almost feels like you’re getting taking advantage of. You know why? Because thinkers/ dreamers/ entrepreneurs are over qualified for a lot of things. The only problem is, no one really knows what they’re truly qualified to do because their knowledge and thought process involves so many things. Also because most dreamers don’t get degrees in the things their most good at. They learn to pick up trades along the way.
So many of us have spent years on top of years in school, and by the time you graduate, that thing you got a degree in isn’t the thing you’re most passionate about. Little known fact, most people get degrees in high paying professions because it’s what they’ve been led to believe is the right thing to do. That is, if they want to guarantee they live a financially stable life. Although some people are okay with going to school for something the could care less about, there are some of us that can’t lie to ourselves.
Many millennials’ are finding ways around the 9 to 5, and I applaud them for that. At times it seems like it’s easier for someone born in the 90’s to get ahead. I understand that we all can get out here and put our own self on, but some times you don’t have that confidence to take it there. Another thing, if you’re someone who looks to others for validation it’s going to be extremely hard for you to get out there and start doing your own thing. I’m sure that’s what’s stopped me so many times, because I was looking for someone to validate me. Take a Q from me, that is not the way to go. If you want to be successful you have to go out and do what ever it is your heart desires, without the thought of someone disapproving. No matter how good you are, there’s always going to be someone telling you that you’re trash. That’s why you have to believe in yourself and your peers will follow.
For example, I had a customer, her and I were talking for a little while, and she mentioned she was on vacation. Then some how the conversation led to me talking about wanting to get a job online. When I said that, I realized it was something she couldn’t understand. She looked at me like I had three heads. At the time I didn’t understand why she was opposed to it. But soon I understood she couldn’t understand it because it wasn’t an avenue she was capable of taking when she was younger. So something like working from home to her seemed lazy and not a real job. But, I came to my own conclusion, what other people think about what I choose to do is no longer my concern. Truth be told, what they think isn’t going to further my financial freedom or pay my bills. So I have to do what is right for me and trust my own instinct and passion, as you should.
You only get this life once, while you’re in it, find a way to live it the best way you know how.
This post may contain affiliate links. For more information please read Disclaimer.
Hey Everybody! I hope all is well.
I’m just sitting here realizing I’m getting older and I still have not made it to the place that I want to be so desperately. I think about all the things I’ve learned over the years and how I haven’t applied much of what I’ve learned to make the type of impact I know I can make. I also think a lot about my health the older I get. All the attempts at being vegan just haven’t stuck. I’m trying to make it stick, because I know that it would be a whole lot better if I would eat what’s good for me rather than eating what tastes good. But the taste always seems to out rule the health facts. Not anymore! I’m tired of lack of energy, depression, lack of focus, health problems, and a list of other things because I love to eat what’s bad for me.
I’m making a promise to you and myself to eat what I know is good for me instead of what’s convenient and what tastes good. I’m going to start eating for the health of my body, instead of eating to satisfy my taste buds. I see that it isn’t getting me any where but living everyday in a fog, barely able to do anything without feeling tired or uninterested. That’s no way to live. I now realize in order to have the type of life I want, my mind has to be clear. Eating healthy foods such as fruits and veggies will insure that my mind is clear, my body energized, and that I am focused on the right things.
Years of eating junk has kept me in a fog that I just can’t shake. Constantly eating fresh food everyday without any processed food is an experience in itself. Have you ever thought of how good you feel when you go through a period of cleansing your body out? Anyone who has gone through this process knows, you feel energized, productive, focused, and most of all amazing! That’s because cleansing the body should be an on going process. I know that it’s hard to lead a life that is filled with nothing but healthy foods that have been grown from the ground, especially if that isn’t something you’re not already use to. But it has always been the answer to getting us to be our best selves’. When you eat better you feel better, and when you feel better you do better. Most of us don’t understand that eating foods high in nutrition does more than keep us in shape, it also keeps our bodies working in tip top shape. Ideas come to you a lot easier, life seems filled with endless possibilities, you can’t wait to wake up and live another day, you find your purpose a lot sooner. The reason for all of these positive benefits when eating fresh foods is, these are the types of food we are suppose to be eating anyway. Like I stated in previous post such as The Health of a Nation, and Know what you’re eating?? most of us are eating things that aren’t even food. They are things that “scientist” have designed to taste good so that we will continue to purchase them. Not only that, most of the things that are put into our “food” have cancer causing agents, because the body doesn’t know how to digest the type of things a typical American eats. That’s why so many of us end up with diseases such as arthritis, osteoporosis, HIV, a number of cancers, STDs and a list of other things.
If the immune system is trying to take care of other issues, how can it defend your body when the actual “Big bad wolf” comes? There’s no way, because it’s already over exerting itself trying to take care of issues. It’s like when you go to work, work 15 hours and your boss asks you to work 10 more. You’ll try to do what you can, but your productivity will be lacking because you haven’t had the time to recuperate from the hours that you’ve already put in. I know a lot of us understand that, but are unable to let go of the bad foods because there is no light in our lives to make us want to do better. I’m sure it’s the food, and stress that’s contributing to making us feel like food is our only escape from the harsh ways of this world.
That’s because we haven’t found other ways to deal with stress and hard times. Food is the first thing you learn to associate with emotion. If you’re happy or sad you want something sweet, stressed salty and so on and so on. But that isn’t the way it’s suppose to be. Everyday we have something to be mad, sad, or happy about. Many times we are more stressed then anything and that is already not good for the body. I know it doesn’t take a lot for me to feel anxious myself, which is another form of stress. Being anxious or stressed isn’t good for the immune system. Having negative emotions stresses the immune system and sends signals to the brain to dull the pain, and most times that means eating away the anxiousness. Not saying eating is the only way to deal with anxiety, stress or anger, but that is the way most of us have learned to block out the signals. We do it so much that we don’t realize we’re doing it. Which is very bad.
All of these reasons and more are the cause of me changing my life style. If you feel the same and want to take this journey with me, leave a comment and let me know how food has changed your life or how you plan to change your life where food is concerned. I also plan own dropping a couple of before and after pictures of me going through this process.
Never forget it’s never to late to make a change to the things you aren’t happy with.
Also if you’re like me and rather learn how to heal your body the natural way, check out these videos of different people healing themselves’ with food. I’ll also leave a couple of book recommendations you can check out when you have time.
Have you ever been stuck in a rut, and didn’t know how you were going to get out? That was me before I started writing this blog. Day after day I would go to work and hate it. Don’t get me wrong I still hate it. But finding something I like to do, that also connects with others makes it all more bearable. Just to give you some knowledge as to what I do, that’s if you’ve never read any of my blog posts before. I work in retail, have been for over 13 years. Believe me, it wasn’t my first job choice but it gave me a check. That being said, I know that is the only reason I stayed, that and fear to try something different. But as the years passed I realized it wasn’t what I wanted to do for the rest of my life, so I made some moves. I started working another job while still having the first. The second job wasn’t as mentally draining as the first, but it was very draining physically. I can remember days I fell asleep on the road rushing from one job, just to get ready to go to the next. I’m sure I’m not saying anything new, because half of us has, had or are either looking for our second job, right now.
That’s the one thing you shouldn’t do, get a second job. If anything, start something you can call your own. At least you know if you make a profit most if not all that money is going to you. I’m sure your probably like, “I don’t have money to start a business!” Truth is, some of the best business owners didn’t start out with that much money either, but they still persisted and made something out of nothing. It feels like that’s what a lot of us do not understand, as long as you have a vision and passion for making that vision a reality, there will always be someone interested in what you have to say, no matter the amount of haters. Just know, you’re definitely going to have people down playing or talking negatively about your efforts to make something out of yourself. All because they’re afraid to go after what they want, like they say, ‘Misery loves company’. That’s what you have to remember when you start talking to people about your dreams or plans to excel in life. Don’t let negative people deter you from what you know was put in you to do.
Prime example, This past Sunday I reached work took my first customer and the conversation with him led to my current ventures of promoting this blog. He said, “Don’t you think it’s a little too late?” At first it got under my skin and pissed me off, but instead of getting mad I replied with, “It’s never too late.” The way I viewed his response started to affect me, but I didn’t let it get that far. Maybe it was the coffee that had me in such a positive mood or I know that I’m gonna be alright because I’m finally doing what I was meant to do. Either way I know he responded that way because most of us are taught that once you’re in a job for a long time, you should work there up until retirement and collect a check. I’m sorry, that isn’t the way my mind works. The way I see it, you can change your mind, job, interest, anything, as long as you still have breath in your body. Age has nothing to do with that, and never let anyone tell you different. Most times people talk just to hear themselves talk, and more than half of the time they’re not saying anything of value. So I say to you, if you have a dream to do something that you’ve always wanted to do but haven’t, either because of fear or circumstance, just do it. You’re not getting any younger and you’re going to feel nothing but regret if you don’t. So live your best life and stop allowing others to dumb you down.
I saw something I thought didn’t happen as much with men as it does with women. That was men dealing with abusive women. I didn’t know abusive women were so wide spread. It seems men get abused almost as much as women. The unfair thing when it comes to the law is, they’re usually seen as the potential abuser if the police were to be called during an altercation. What a lot of people don’t understand is men aren’t protected under the same set of laws when it comes to something like that. It’s even worse when it involves people of different ethnic groups.
Time after time things are done to men that aren’t looked at as abuse because in most cases, it’s a woman doing it to a man. For instance, if a woman out of anger slaps her husband or boyfriend across the head, it’s not seen as abuse. But if the tables were turned and a man did that to a woman it would be seen for what it is. It shouldn’t matter what gender the person is. What’s sad, we have been conditioned to think when a woman hits a man it’s comic relief some how. Beating on someone is never funny. I remember a couple of weeks ago I saw this clip on Facebook of a woman dumping food on her man’s head and also throwing objects at him, because he wanted to do something she didn’t agree with. I have to say, the way she handled that situation was childish. If you have a disagreement while in a relationship you are suppose to be adult enough to talk out your problems. Not throw a temper tantrum because you can’t get things your way. I have to admit though, when I was younger I engaged in that type of behavior. Believe me, I’m not proud of it but that was a chapter in my life that will never be repeated because I’ve learned if you feel the need to put your hands on someone your in a relationship with, that isn’t the person for you or you need help to resolve your issues. For me, I needed to get away from that person because he caused me to turn into something I no longer recognized.
In other cases with men dealing with abusive partners, they have to humble their selves immensely in order to keep the peace because they don’t know what might set their partner off. When you have to tiptoe around someone it’s never good or healthy. There’s no reason you should feel like you’re walking on eggshells when you’re with someone you love or are getting to know romantically. But a lot of men stay because they’ve been taught that a man is suppose to be able to take a hit. Not only that, a lot of times their ego has a lot to do with the reasons they stay. Reason being, most men don’t want to look soft in front of another man. So instead of being open about getting abused by their partner they’ll lie, try to make it seem like everything is okay, just so they can save face. But there’s a big problem with that way of thinking. You could get badly injured messing around with someone that has no concern for your wellbeing. But there’s something worse that could happen while with an abusive partner, doesn’t matter if it’s a male or female abuser. They could bring death upon you.
That’s something a lot of people in abusive relationships don’t keep in mind. All it takes is for the abuser to feel like you deserve to get hit or punched or sometimes hit by a car, what ever it is. Is it worth your life?! Do you love this person that much?! They hit you a little too hard or choked you just a little too long. Is it worth it?!
I never understood people that could literally go to bed with someone that just beat them or choked them. Aren’t you afraid that you’ll go to sleep and never wake up? I’m sure people who deal with someone like that has to be fearful every minute of everyday. That is no way to live. You’re suppose to be happy and enjoying life, not being someone’s physical or emotional punching bag. Yes, there are emotional abusers too. Those are the people that dump on you to make themselves’ feel better. The point is, if the person doesn’t make you happy or makes you happy but you’re either fearful or sad most of the time, it’s time to let them go. This life is too short to deal with unnecessary pain and discomfort. Although you think you’ll never find anyone that makes you feel like they made you feel, press on!No matter how they make you feel when things are good, it doesn’t matter because they have a problem and need to get help. The sad thing is, as long as you continue to tolerate it, they’re going to keep pushing the limits because you continue to put up with it. In a lot of ways it’s like teaching a child what’s right and what’s wrong. You wouldn’t let your child get away with it, so don’t let them. Put them in their place and stand your ground. Don’t let fear trap you and make you stay with someone that doesn’t deserve you.
I’m sure you’re probably thinking, “Why does she care?” I care because someone really close to me went through years of abuse with almost every person they entered into a relationship with. I believe that’s another reason why I’m so sensitive to other peoples emotions. It was no fun watching someone you love and know deserves so much more, go through having their legs broken because they were thrown from a moving car or constantly having black eyes because their partner was having a bad day. There were countless things this individual went through. I don’t know how they did it, but I’m so thankful they did. Most people that go through hard times like this for years, sometimes decades, commit suicide. I’m so happy they saw the light before their was any, and realized they were worth so much more than any person in relationships with them ever made them feel.
To whomever reads this, I hope this post helps you in some way to acknowledge you deserve better. Man, woman whatever, everyone deserves happiness and someone that’s going to make them feel wanted, needed, loved, protected and safe. If you’re in a relationship and the person can’t offer that, there’s no need in wasting your time or energy.
Below are the links to the pictures. Also the first two websites listed are places that are dedicated to resolving this issue.
It always seems like life has other plans for you. When ever you think life is going one way it surprises you and takes another direction. This has proven to be true in many occasions. Me myself, I always thought I was going to be some where married and happy with a whole lot of kids. But I guess God had a different plan for me. It seems like the more you fight for something that was not suppose to be the foundation of your life the more it becomes obvious you are pursuing the wrong thing.
I’m sure we all take something away from a mistake. But sometimes you just can’t see the big picture because your focused on the wrong thing.